Manners and Jason Mraz

There have been a flurry of posts about manners lately, what with people yelling at the president and tennis judges and little country-pop singers and all, but I witnessed such an egregious abuse of manners a few weeks ago, I couldn’t let it go without mention. I am not even sure it qualifies in the “manners” category, actually. It might go straight to asshole.

Imagine this if you will. Five people decide to go see a show at Red Rocks. Jason Mraz to be precise. Since these 5 people are getting up in age, they decide to purchase the reserved seats, to avoid that inevitable laying across the row like Bridget Bardot to hold their place while someone goes off to the bathroom, or arguing with other concert-goers to back off because they are encroaching with their stuff and their beer and their DANCING for the love of Pete.

Imagine the five arrive at their reserved seats and find people already there. Seated across 3 of those seats they paid extra for, splayed out with their yellow and white striped plastic table cloth, and their beers, and their two kids aged 3 and 6, and their vacant smiles.

Imagine if one of the ladies of the group, the one with the big mouth and the Inner Bitch, decides to try the nice approach first.

“Excuse me? I think you are in our seats. We are 65-69.”

Imagine you got a half smiles and blank stares back.

“Um, so, I am sorry. But these are our seats.”

*blink blink blink*

Imagine the 5’10” Amazon-shaped girl looking back to her petite but feisty and Hispanic best friend, ready to call in for reinforcements.

“Are we mistaken here? These are our seats, and we have 5 people.”

Imagine if the Head Asshole looked at you with a shit-eating grin and said, actually said, “What are we supposed to do?”

Imagine the husband of the Amazon stepping back like 3 feet.

“You need to MOVE or show me tickets that these are YOUR seats.”

Imagine the Head Asshole looking around like he didn’t hear the Amazon. Imagine the Amazon imagining her arms swinging around like windmills and repeatedly bopping this dude on his noggin.

“OK, DUDE. I AM SERIOUS. I NEED TO SEE YOUR TICKETS. WE HAVE 5 PEOPLE AND ONLY 2 SPACES HERE. NOTICE HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS FOR US TO SIT IN THE SEATS WE PAID FOR. IN ROW 24. SEATS 65-69. FIVE PEOPLE. FIVE SEATS….”

Imagine wife of Head Asshole recognizing a full-blown appearance an Alien exploding out of the Amazon’s stomach, and quickly looking down into her purse to check their tickets, then huffily yelling at the five people…

“FINE. WE’RE IN ROW 32!”

The Alien was a sad it didn’t get to bite their heads off and eat them.

The Alien was also sad when she clearly saw them TWO rows back, because while Aliens have small brains, they DO know that 24 + 2 does NOT equal 32.

The Alien was very, very sad they would act that way in front of their children.

But the Alien was NOT sad when Jason Mraz started playing and all five friends got to sit together.

This article has 22 comments

  1. NCavillones

    That’s hilarious! Esp the bit about Amazon’s husband backing because he knows shit is about to go *down*.

  2. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    I am glad Denise and Chris are married. 😉

  3. zipper

    Can we see Head Asshole in the video?

  4. abbersnail

    People are AWFUL, ENTITLED JERKS sometimes. Especially when live music is involved, somehow.

  5. Danielle

    grrr – DON’T mess with a hispanic AND an alien!!
    UR LOOKING FOR TROUBLE!!NUFF SAID!

  6. Anonymous

    sorry they were jerks, but that is funny! – m

  7. Char

    LOL yeah, I would not have been nice either – some people think it’s their world and we just live in it. idiots.

  8. Chris

    I hate people!

  9. Angela

    What a riot! And I loved the video.

  10. J at www.jellyjules.com

    Amazonian Aliens are clearly *NOT* to be trifled with. Idiots and bitches take note.

  11. thatgirlblogs

    You should have said, “come on, get higher :)”

  12. WILLIAM

    Are you sure this is not a movie already.

  13. Rhiannon

    I’m ALWAYS scared when I show up somewhere and someone is in my seat, has a purse on my seat, etc. Luckily this has never happened to me, but please know I would be this angry.

  14. Anonymous

    What? I can’t believe people really did that.

  15. well read hostess

    Turns out, I really like aliens.

  16. Sizzle

    What the hell is wrong with people!? GAH!

    I am rather fond of your inner bitch.

  17. Ashleigh

    Daaaaang!

  18. Julie @ The Mom Slant

    My blood pressure’s elevated just reading that. I may not be as tall as you, but I gestate aliens too.

  19. MB

    people are stupid

  20. Melissa

    My husband and I went to the Mraz show in August and man, was it a great time. Glad to hear you got your seats without having to resort to windmilling arms 🙂 Honestly, some people! If you know damn well you’re usurping seats, you know you have to LEAVE if the seatholders arrive!

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