Jan 2006
20

Things I Hate

Since it has been a cranky week, and my pal Melissa started a trend… I am gonna list all the things I hate. In no particular order:

– Feeling nauseous
– People who are close-minded
– If I am being honest… People who are stupid (and thus I negate my own non-close-minded thing)
– Cigarette smoke and chewing tobacco
– People who flick cigarettes out of a car
– Itty bitty bimbo girls… especially teenage ones
– Microsoft Windows
– Bad customer service
– The Indianapolis Colts
– Three Bean Salad
– Seinfeld
– Religious zealots
– Suburban white boys trying to be all “gangsta”
– When people do not turn on their headlights in rain or snow
– Madonna’s new weird accent
– Running (sorry, Teresa)
– January
– When people leave pee-pee drips on public toilets
– Camouflage clothing
– Wal-Mart
– Movie title logos that do not match the design of the trailer
– Telemarketers
– Little old ladies who have huge-ass SUVs to go to the grocery store in
– Homophobes
– Acne
– Not being able to conquer the pottery wheel
– People who are passive aggressive
– When the water turns cold mid-shower
– George W. Bush
– When message board posters use 3,000 blinkies in their signature
– Brainfreeze
– Emails that are so obviously urban legends, yet still get forwarded again and again
– Drama queens
– Country music
– TomKat
– People who cannot admit when they are wrong
– Greed
– Parents who bring small children to PG-13 movies
– When Declan whines
– When people put punctuation outside the quotes
– Patriotism to the point of blindness
– Spelling every other word incorrectly as I type
– When good bands turn into Neil Young – a la Pearl Jam
– Liars
– People who are in the fast lane, but go exactly the same speed of the guy next to them
– The Baltimore accent, hon
– When people do not call, write or even email thank you’s
– People who can’t see the big picture
– Menstrual cycles
– Spiders
– Hiccups
– Night terrors
– Port-o-potties
– Not enough time in the day

And finally… I will end with the one Melissa started with:
– Putting away laundry

Nov 2005
23

Comments

Some people have asked me why I don’t have comments enabled on this blog. Here is the thing. I am actually quite insecure, even through all my bravado. I feel like if someone has something nice to say, they will bother to email me… otherwise who cares what they say cause they are just freaking idiots, right? Um, err, I mean, constructive critisicm is always good to hear too.

Nov 2005
22

We’re So Stereotypical

My therapist was telling me today that she was reading a recent study that confirmed what we all knew. Men are the daredevils and women are the snugglers.

She said that in childrearing, men generally did better at the exploration tasks (as in, letting them fly across playground equipment at frightening speeds) and women were better at nurturing tasks (as in, giving oodles of hugs and kisses when they have an owie).

We totally proved this theory in our house this weekend. My son, who will 99% of the time pick Dad over me for ANYTHING, wanted me all weekend while he was sick.

Am I wrong if I admit I enjoyed it?

Nov 2005
21

What I learned today…

1). Do not go to the pharmacy at 9am on Mondays. Millions of old people are already there in line ahead of you.

2). Do not trust that your insurance and your prescription benefit company are actually talking to each other, even though they appear as a united front on your insurance card.

3). The pharmacist at the local grocery store seems to think she knows my health insurance plan better than I do. (She was wrong).

4). Do whatever it takes to get the meds your son needs, because life is so much better after he takes them.

Nov 2005
18

Bushism of The Year

Go to About Political Humor to vote for the most insipid, inane thing our so-called leader said this year. There are some doosies!

1) “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.” —to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of Hurricane Katrina, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005

2) “See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.” —Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

3) “I don’t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees.” —on “Good Morning America,” Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina

4) “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

5) “I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?” —in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005