On the way home from the Wiggles concert (hour long car ride).
DECLAN: I have to go potty!
AIMEE: OK, but can you hold it till for a few minutes? We’re almost home.
DECLAN: Sure! It’s OK, the poop in my behind moved over to my penis and it’s holding the pee in.
DECLAN: Daddy, what was that place we went last night… that had all the cookies?
BRYAN: The Neighborhood Babysitters Club meeting.
DECLAN: Oh, yeah – that. Do you know what they do with their apple juice?
DECLAN: (whispering conspiratorially) They don’t put any water in it!
(I guess we have him trained well that any juice he gets from us is liberally diluted with water!)
DECLAN: Why is that man holding a sign? (notices a homeless man on a street corner)
AIMEE: Because he doesn’t have a home or any money and he is asking for help.
DECLAN: Why is he so angry? (the guy was raging and waving his sign)
AIMEE: I think he is upset because no one is giving him any money.
DECLAN: Why don’t we give him money?
AIMEE: Well, Mommy and Daddy like to give money to companies that help lots of homeless people, not just one person on the street corner.
DECLAN: I have a lot of money.
AIMEE: (giggling) You do?
DECLAN: Yes, pennies for the horsy ride at the grocery store. I can give those to all the hungry people.
AIMEE: (trying not to cry) That’s really nice of you, Declan.