Pokey Little Stupid Ass Book

It’s a funny thing to go back and revisit your favorite childhood books now that you are an adult. Most of them shock the hell out of me – like how Mother Goose is completely morbid and Raggedy Anne has racist overtones. Well, one of my favorite books when I was a kid was “The Pokey Little Puppy.” A miracle in itself that I actually remember this, I know. But I loved it.

So, we got it for Declan.

Man, that book sucks ass.

In a nutshell, the premise is that there are 5 little puppies that keep digging out under their fence to go exploring. Every day they smell their mom making some kind of desert – rice pudding, strawberry shortcake… you know, all the things puppies normally eat. But when they scamper home, Mom won’t let them have any dessert because they dug out under the fence. Except the pokey little puppy, who is so late to come in that he has his dessert after everyone else is asleep.

So, Mom doesn’t notice that one of her puppies isn’t home? What kind of Mom doesn’t figure that one out? And secondly, why does she keep leaving the dessert out for the puppy that not only dug out under the fence, but stayed out till all hours of the night and then ate all the freaking dessert?

And in the end, we are supposed to feel sad because the mom got so fed up she boarded up the fence… so the pokey little puppy got accidentally stuck on the outside of the fence, and for once he didn’t get his midnight snack.

Seriously, what the fuck kind of story is this??? And more importantly, why do I keep reading it to my son???