If I ever win the lottery, I promise to put out a series of public service announcements that are crucial, but no one ever seems to deem important enough to warrant attention. I thought of all these as I was driving very slowly through 5 inches of snow on my way to the office this morning. I think the fine wordsmithing and creative compostions of my PSAs will stand out and really make a difference.
“If you are driving a white car in a snowstorm, turn on your fucking headlights, you fucking moron.”
“Just because you bought a huge-ass gas-guzzling SUV that can handily get going in deep tracks of snow, that’s doesn’t mean you can actually stop in that same snow – so, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, asshole!”
“Yes, I see you sitting on my ass, but you may have noticed all that swerving everyone is doing, and also that white shit falling from the sky. When I stop and you ram into my ass, all I am going to do is sit here and laugh my fucking ass off.”
I feel really good in the knowledge that I will be doing my part to make the world a better place.