It boggles the mind.

When I bought my lovely Canon Digital SLR, I was talked into purchasing the extended warranty. One of the major benefits of the extended warranty, you see – was the thorough cleaning that every Digital SLR needs once a year. So, today I decided to happily skip into the local Wolf Camera today to get my camera cleaned – oh, happy day!

Imagine my surprise when the Sloth working behind the counter informs me that it will take four to six weeks to clean my camera. You read the right. Four to six WEEKS. “What?!” I say. “You can build a house in that time!” (OK, a small house, but a house nonetheless!)

I ask for the manager and am informed that he won’t be in till Friday. Great. A store that only has a manager one day a week.

I feel it coming. Her. THE INNER BITCH. I have worked long and hard to suppress her… but there are times when she is needed. Today was one of those times. I swear a torrent of fire spewed forth from my mouth: Four to six weeks is completely unacceptable! When they sold me the warranty such a timeline was never mentioned! I am a freelance photographer (emphasis on free, but they don’t need to know that) and there is no way I can be without my camera for a month! I have bought THREE cameras from this company! Can you provide me a loaner!? And most importantly – WHY THE HELL DOES IT TAKE SO LONG?!?!

Blink. Blink. Blink.

That guy then said, “Becky – can you help this lady, please?”

By that time I was in rare form and Becky got THE INNER BITCH in full swing. She gave me all the same shitty answers as Sloth. Oh, but she bothered to call the factory and told me I “was in luck!” – they are not busy, so they are running more like two to four weeks right now. OH JOY!

Still total bullshit.

Oh, and she also made the mistake of casually gesturing to the back counter and saying, “well, we usually wait till we have a bunch saved up and send them in together.” Ever heard of expedited shipping, lady? When I told her I could get a pallet of bricks to China by tomorrow, so “sticking my camera in the corner and then waiting around till several people also decided to have their cameras cleaned and then sending them through regular mail with a bunch of stamps all over the package just AIN’T GONNA CUT IT” – well, at that point, she was getting an teensy weensy bit mad at me.

So I packed up my camera and collected THE INNER BITCH and stormed out. I can’t wait to talk to Erik the manager on Friday. There is someone I’d like him to meet.

Oh, and by the way, I called Mike’s Camera – you know, just for kicks – to see what it cost for them to do the cleaning and how long it would take.

$59 and one hour.