Yeah, it’s not the first time I’ve ticked people off on a national holiday (remember 4th of July?). But, oh well. I feel pretty strongly about this one too, so here goes.
To all the hypocritical uber-conservative Christians out there who hate Halloween:
Kindly shut the hell up.
Here is what started my foul mood on the subject. There is a school district here in Colorado that actually moved their Fall Break to cover October 31st so the kids would be out of school on Halloween, intentionally avoiding the “devil’s holiday” and it’s evil celebrations.
Are you fucking kidding me?
First of all, newsflash: Most of Christmas was originally a PAGAN holiday. December 25th is widely accepted by most historians as NOT Jesus’ birth date. There was a Roman solstice celebration that week that rivaled Mardi Gras for rabble-rousing, so the powers that be at the time combined the two holidays to try to keep the peace (and of course, convert Pagans to Christianity). Many of the beloved symbols of Christmas come from this Pagan celebration. Yule log? Pagan. Holly leaves and mistletoe? Pagan. Even the almighty Christmas tree? Originally worshiped by the Pagans. Our warm and fuzzy modern day image of Christmas was pretty much created in the mid 1800’s by Charles Dickens’ book, “A Christmas Carol.”
But I know what the uber-cons will say. “But that isn’t what it means today. Now it is a celebration of Jesus, his birth, his life, peace on earth, love for fellow man, yadda yadda yadda.”
Herein lies my point, friends.
Do you REALLY think that modern Halloween celebrations are about worshiping the devil?
Do you really think that people dressing up in funny, scary and silly costumes and eating way too much candy means they are practicing a long-dead religion (that for all intents and purposes is really just about following the cycles of nature – but that is beside the point anyway)?
And you are going to take one of the few holidays a year that has never had any religious crap attached to it and turn into such a debate that a school district will actually move their entire freaking Fall Break to avoid the issue?
And THEN you get mad at me because I ask you to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” as you gleefully run off and spend all your life savings on things you can’t afford during a holiday that is so over-commercialized that Jesus himself upstairs in heaven is covering his eyes wondering what the FUCK is going on down here, all the while unwittingly celebrating mostly the same types of traditions you squashed two months prior pretty much because you just really needed something to get your panties in a twist about?
Well, dude. You need to just chill the fuck out.
I sure hope you Devil Worshiping Pagans out there have a great time tonight. Howl at the moon a little for me.