Finding The Line
I have often proudly called myself a mommy blogger, but lately – as I was discussing with my friend Amy yesterday – I have wondered how relevant I am. We both have similar problems, my child is 6.5, hers 7 and 9. That’s almost grown, yos. Ha, not really – especially after witnessing the three of them act like complete morons all day yesterday up here in Winter Park.
But the fact remains, once a kid hit 1st grade, you become a different sort of mommy blogger. It just really is just different.
A while back, Catherine from Her Bad Mother and Kelly from Don Mills Diva were featured in a newspaper article that sparked quite a bit of controvery about mommy bloggers. I wrote this post in support of them, and mommy blogging in general.
I have been thinking about that post a lot lately. Mainly because in the last week or so, the tenor of the bad behavior going on at my house has changed. Remember the Sharpies night? I felt totally and completely comfortable writing about it. It was funny, and I wasn’t crossing any lines. Any of MY lines, at least. But some of that behavior has continued and some of the talks that have resulted from that behavior have been amazing glimpses at the man my son will become. In the middle of trauma – trauma that he created, ha – he’s devulged secrets of his heart that I just can’t talk about here.
I finally found the line I am not willing to cross as a mommy blogger.
And that is OK. It’s a tradeoff I am willing to make. I imagine there will still be plenty for me to talk about regarding motherhood.
It’s just time for some things to stay closer to home.
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I always think of David Sedaris when I think of Mommy Bloggers. The best ones share his wit and insight into the mundane but often illuminating introspection on our society and lives in general. The reason “Mommy Blogging” is so relevant now is because all of you are sharing stories that have a common bond in motherhood, parenthood, and the human sphere. As your kid grows, you’ll have to make concessions as to what you can and cannot write. The thing is – you’ve probably already have been doing that but, when the kid is younger, their personality isn’t reflected as much. I wouldn’t say that you’ve found the line as much as you’ve found distinct differentiation as to who your son is versus the common bonds we all share. His personality will shape your writing – but I do not believe it will hinder it. Just as he grows, you’ll grow as a writer, a story teller, and sharer of those mundane yet universal moments that we all go through. The moments not universal you’ll cling to in private – as you should. I look forward to reading whatever you wish to share….
G – awesomely insightful comment. xo
Welcome to my cave.
The trick is to start talking less about Dec and more about you in the context of him. That’s how I have to do it.
My line is drawn at one year old.
When she hits one, the blog’s focus moves away from her so she can develop in peace and private.
I think it’s important for moms to draw lines and happy that you’re taking the time to think about the effect!
I don’t think we knew the monster we were creating in the wild west heydays of mommy blogging, but the knowledge that whatever you write will be out there for him to find does create a new censor to the work as our sons age.
One the other hand, as G said – this is a new stretch for the writing muscle. An opportunity to find new ways to tell the stories that resonate.
I’m also looking forward to your new posts 🙂
Great, thoughtful post!
I didn’t begin blogging until my oldest was 10, and I totally get this. Although I certainly blog about issues that arise, I am careful not to betray my sons’ (I have 3) confidences. That said, there’s still more than enough to share. And then some. 🙂
I think you nailed it. It’s not a matter of what other people think is TMI, but what you and your family know is TMI. That’s a decision each of us can only make for our own family.
I think you are exactly right. As our children step slowly into what will flesh out into their adult selves, some of those things should be kept personal. It’s a gift that each parent can cherish and hold close. There will also be the stories that will remind you of the ridiculously silly child they were long after they box up their last action figure. Those stories I hope you continue to share.
I’m pretty sure puberty is going to be be a blogging goldmine.
What a great blog! I completely understand as I attempt to create “relevant” material each week on my Effective Parenting site. Sometimes it’s just too funny not to tweet or blog about my own kids. However, I often hold on to a blog a few days before hiting the ‘publish’ button if I’m not sure about the content. My children deserve my committment to their privacy – it is an interesting balance.
Cheers to you for finding your line.
Kelli
Just yesterday I posted a story in which I said something along the lines of “she did something that I’m not going to write here, but it was baaad” as I paved my way to the real point of the story. It’s been disconcerting watching comments and emails pop up from people saying, “C’mon! Tell us what she did!”
The line between appropriate and not appropriate moves from day-to-day, and will continue to do so. It must. It’s getting others to understand that the line is firm that is sometimes the challenge.
I agree with Mr Lady. The tenor of my writing has mostly been about me as a mommy and not as much about the children I am mommy too. I do talk about them and what they do to an extent but my blog is my spot for my feelings. And there is the privacy aspect for them as well. There is the option of also say, in certain circumstances, “I appreciate how you feel and think this would be a great opportunity to help other kiddos that feel the same way if we talked about it together.” That’s what I think of mommy bloggers and our evolution. How we help each other but how our kids can help other kids.
It’s a hard line to find and walk. Even though my kids are very young, I have started to realize that I have to be careful about what I say.
I totally agree! I have had conversations with Ben recently that I won’t blog about. like you said, something should just stay AT HOME.
awesome post. It really *IS* interesting how blogger’s posts have changed as their kids have grown up. – m
I have a few lines myself, and I totally get this, I do.
I LOVE what GS said.
good one aimee. You’re smart, Dex will appreciate this.