I think we all have had this happen, right? You email a big group, and one well-meaning recipient hits reply-all, putting their sentiments in the middle of people YOU know, but THEY don’t? And then someone ELSE takes exception…
And the shitstorm begins.
This is why I became BFFs with Blind Carbon Copy a long, long time ago.
Well, I know exactly when we became close – September 11th. That terrible time for our country was also a time I had the startling realization that I am a liberal. Like really, really a liberal. No kidding. I always considered myself middle of the road, vanilla pudding.
Until the September 11 emails starting flying.
My inbox was filled with propaganda from all sides, and I admit, I forwarded A LOT of things to people I didn’t know didn’t appreciate my feelings on the subject. Think about it, it was nearly ten years ago, and netiquette has come a long way since then. Think about the way you emailed back then, and how little you knew about the people you emailed.
I know our country was wounded, but the vitriol spread during that time was astrounding. And I admit to being wounded myself when I sent what I thought was an uplifting email and got hate back, lots of it. Anger and hate and YUCK.
To my whole contact list.
Now. I admit I will send an email back to ALL my mom’s friends when she sends a particularly crazy urban legend and they ALL could benefit from knowing that giant snakes are not going to infiltrate their house through the sewer pipes. Thank god, because giant snakes in the sewer would be TERRIBLE.
But essentially telling someone to eff off? After I tried to send a soothing email during a crap time in our country’s history?
Point being, I have never, ever since sent a group email where other people in the email could see the other people in the email. I also cut down drastially on what I send, and to who.
Of course, there is also a downside to that. Seeing as we have fantastic friends, the emails started: “Where are you?” “Why don’t we hear from you anymore?!?”
Second point being, finding a balance between keeping in contact and not offending, overloading or ostracizing anyone is hard. Damn, damn hard.
How do you do it?