An Epiphanie Camera Bag just arrived in the mail. The ginger one that I have been coveting for months, but has been on back-order. Epiphanie’s founder, Maile Wilson sent it to me. Not because she thought it would be a good “promotion,” but because she’s my friend. She knows I’ve had a rough year and just said, HERE.
I’ve had a lot of that lately. Friends reaching out and saying, HERE. Not so much material things – but thoughts. HERE. I want to help you. I want to share with you. I want to know you are alright. HERE.
Maile is one of those givers, that’s for sure. Heart of gold. The last time I saw her in person, she was struggling with the balance between HERE and THERE. That place where you have given too much, and you wonder how you sheepishly draw your toe across the sand to hold the line. How to figure out what you need for YOU, versus what you need for THEM.
I personally struggle with that all the time.
For one thing, I am both an extrovert and an introvert. I need time bubbling around people, feeling that wonderful vibe that bounces back and forth when a room is full of good energy. But I also need to retreat, to be by myself, to read a book, watch a movie, to live inside my own head. This is why I almost never room with anyone at conferences, which probably makes me look like a colossal bitch, but trust me – the other side of that coin is really ugly too.
How to find that balance between give and take? Friendship is special, fragile, it takes work. But it also takes boundaries. It takes space. It takes knowing someone, and trusting their faith in you. Just like Maile did when she shared her struggles with me that day *and* when she reached out to me and said, HERE.
How do YOU manage your self-care and your friendships?