Remember how action-packed our Thanksgiving weekend was? When I wore my family out with fun-filled activities? And how overwhelmed Declan was with the whole thing – especially the Michael Franti extravaganza.
I ended up having a big old talk with my therapist, because I admit, as I complained on Mile High Mamas, I have been feeling a bit at the end of my rope with Declan lately.
I mean, in general I feel so lucky. Most days he is such a great kid. Then he gets what we call “mopey disease.” Where he is just one big pile of MOPE.
And it’s hard for me because I WANT him to be so excited. Like, I mean, how COOL is it that we are taking him to such an AWESOME concert, right? Shouldn’t he just be EXPLODING with SPASTICITY?
That’s when my therapist, who totally calls me on my shit, reminds me of my “chaos moments,” and how I want to crawl inside my head and not talk to anyone. And then my therapist, who also totally knows her shit as well as mine, reminds me kids have all those same feelings but they are totally amplified seeing as they don’t even know what to do with them.
She gave me some specific tips, but one really hit home with me.
Be REACTIVE instead of PROACTIVE.
Isn’t that back-ass-wards? We spend all this time in school and in the workplace teaching ourselves to prep, plan, get ahead of any catastrophe that could and would happen.
And dudes, I am SO good at planning.
But here she was, suggesting I take a step back and follow Declan’s lead. Let him tell me where he wants to sit in the concert hall. Let him play with my iPhone for a few minutes while Michael Franti is playing because it’s something that he knows. Let go of my preconceived notions of the super-awesome time we are going to have and just enjoy the moment, in the moment.
Oh, Lord. This is so hard for me, but I am going to try.