And Let The Tween Drama Begin

Hi. I am ticked. What’s new.

There is this thing that Declan wanted to join. It is a school thing, but not really. It’s before and after school and the kids involved are supposed to get in groups of two or three kids.

We were a little late on the ball, and everyone is paired up. Everyone is turning Declan away.

Finally we got on the phone and started calling parents. There was a ray of hope with a long time friend of Declan’s – but her partner, a boy that Declan doesn’t know very well, and we don’t know at all, “doesn’t work well in groups.”

According to his parents.

His parents said that their child “doesn’t work well in groups,” – one of the main goals of this activity, I would presume – when another parent was asking if ONE child could be added to their TWO person group, because that child didn’t have a group of his own.

If this is a glimpse of the politics and bullshit ahead, I am raising the white flag now.

This article has 24 comments

  1. FireMom

    Oh. Oh man. I don’t know if I can do this someday without kicking ass and taking names. Sigh.

  2. zipper

    What a bunch of shit! Let Dex be a group on his own!

  3. Everyfann

    Poor Declan! :(((

  4. Submommy

    Our kids are the same age. And we’re dealing with the same things. There’s so much girl drama, and by extension, mom drama, that I long to be a turtle some days. (Hide in the shell until danger passes.)

  5. Aimee Giese

    What’s weird is it all seemed to start this year…

  6. Aimee Giese

    But honestly – I am mostly shocked that the other parents would say no. I would NEVER have done that. Never ever ever.

  7. Chris

    My 12 yr. old is struggling with this right now. Kids have actually said to him, “You’re too smart for us”. I mean, really?!? He has been BEGGING me to home school him. It’s heartbreaking.

  8. Aimee Giese

    Chris – that breaks my heart.

  9. Aimee Giese

    And Matt, I think of that quote SO OFTEN. LOL.

  10. Aimee Giese

    L – I hope you understand that this was not about YOU at all. xoxo

  11. Tree

    Totally agree. Parents may assist, but it should be with a guiding principle of inclusion & education (part of which can be social).

  12. Matt Meeks

    One would think that a responsible parent would welcome an opportunity to have their child learn to “work well in groups”. Given that said child will likely not be allowed to work by themselves as an adult and be required to work on various and sundry teams, it seems like a critical skill. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves in Parenthood: “you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a parent. “

  13. lasmmc

    Aimee-i hope you know i pushed and was told “no”. so, this parent was doing the right thing.
    i did not know the other side had issues. i am deeply sorry and at this point may pull the plug.

  14. Aimee Giese

    Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions guys. I think at this point we are gonna not have him do it, and perhaps get him some robotics toys that we work on with him here at home. Next time we will be more on the ball, and also, I def think we probably should have gotten the organizers involved.

  15. MPP_Mom

    Wouldn’t it initially be up to group organizer/teacher to organize the
    groups!? Why are they putting this on kids, then parents??

  16. Bess

    Aimee, this is ridiculous. Also, don’t put Declan in that group with the kid from the “We Don’t Work Well in Groups” family. Whomever is organizing this ‘fun’ needs to intervene and find him a nice, kind group… a group just like Declan.

  17. Connie Weiss

    I’m pretty sure….that I’m not going to survive elementary school.

    I’m sorry you guys are dealing with this. 🙁

  18. zenrain

    Wow, unbelievable…

  19. Submommy

    Aimee, is this the Lego Robotics thing that schools do?

    I ask, because I know that our local science museum, AND our local parks & rec district offers classes and camps in it. So, if he’s really interested, you might be able to find an alternative location for him, where he will meet new, cool kids with similar interests and (hopefully) no drama.

    And here I thought it was only the girls who did this kind of baloney.

  20. Sizzle

    Gah! That’s maddening. I hate those sorts of dynamics. Once my nephew, at the tender age of 5, told me some kids at his school called him a name and I was about to drive right over and kick all of their asses. It’s so real for us, isn’t it? That feeling of wanting to belong and be a part of something. To not be rejected. I know this situation isn’t exactly this but it brings it up for me.

    I hope this gets worked out for you guys!

  21. ZDub

    WTF?! Doesn’t work well in groups?

    Go to the principal, do not pass go.

  22. monstergirlee

    Well this just sucks. I’m sorry you and Declan has to deal with this crap. Wish I could help.

  23. J at

    What a messy situation. I understand the other parents trying to help their child through whatever he’s going through. Kids are different. Some can’t handle much. I think getting the organizers involved earlier, as you said in the comments, would help. I hate that Declan didn’t get to do a project that he wanted to do. 🙁

  24. Amira Lewis (Real Estate)

    I would think as a parent, if you recognize that your child doesn’t work well in groups you would encourage him to participate so that he could overcome that issue. CRAZY!! I wish you luck and hope that it all works out well.

    And I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog. I enjoy how candid you are and your photos are amazing.

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