Chaos Moments

When the world circles around me at an uber-frenetic pace, I call it “A Chaos Moment.” I’ve talked about it with my therapist, and my physical responses to Chaos Moments do not qualify as panic attacks… but it’s close. My heart beats faster, my ear buzz, and I just want to shout “STOP!” Bryan knows what I need when I tell him I am having a Chaos Moment; he knows I am ready to pop.

That is what this entire summer has felt like.

One, long, never-ending Chaos Moment.

Mostly of my own design, of course… seeing as I am a planner out the wing-wang and there has been so much fun stuff to do; I packed it all in ’till we were the poster children for the over-scheduled. Dinner here, party there, swimming here, playdate here, park now, working hard, launching three sites, paying bills, running errands, concerts, BBQs, more parties, quick trip here, run back there… buzz buzz buzz buzz BUZZ!

MAKE IT STOP!

…. [exhale] …

But school has started, we’ve sailed past Declan’s birthday, the night air is turning cooler.

Calm.

I know the craziness of the holidays looms around the corner, but for now, the chaos has settled. The ringing in my ears has stopped. I don’t feel like a squirrel running around the house wondering what I need to do next.

Calm.

The therapist often says I am very in tune with the light and the changing of the seasons.

I am ready to hibernate.

This article has 13 comments

  1. Sizzle

    ah, sweet hibernation. it’s a good idea. even uber planners need some down time. 🙂

  2. Anonymous

    chaos kills me too!

  3. diana

    i agree. this time of the year is my favorite for a lot of different reasons. one is definitely that life seems to slow down a little. not for long because of the holidays but for a couple of months, it blissfully more quiet.

  4. joansy

    So great that you’ve got a grasp on what’s going on. I’m with you on wanting some down time.

    Wishing you calm peace . . .

  5. zenrain

    hibernation…ahhh…can’t wait 🙂

  6. creative-type dad

    holidays?

    oh no….!

  7. soccer mom in denial

    This post just made me want to give you a big hug.

    HUG!!

  8. painted maypole

    i got me a gorgeous new mix CD in the mail today – can’t wait to pop it into the CD player in the car tomorrow!

    Thanks!

    (and enjoy the calm!)

  9. carrie

    Wow, I feel like this so often. Thank you for giving me a word to describe it (I actually wrote a frantic post about it today) and making me feel not so alone.

    More calm, for both of us!

  10. Jen M.

    Oh – if only we really could hibernate. I would be right there.

  11. Tree

    Apt description. You had swept me into your chaos as you described it.

    Thank goodness for the arrival of autumn and school and a return to some semblance of normalcy.

  12. sue

    So lucky! My chaos is just beginning… fall harvest, work gets frantic, holidays (yes, they are there), several family birthdays (Hubs’ calls it poor planning), and year-end bookwork for the farm. From ohhh…in about a week until February, my life is going to turn into a zoo.

    Glad yours is calming down!

  13. Mamalicious

    I call these moments “big people.” It’s like everything, everyone gets bigger and bigger in my head. And suddenly, somehow, I break free.

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