When the world circles around me at an uber-frenetic pace, I call it “A Chaos Moment.” I’ve talked about it with my therapist, and my physical responses to Chaos Moments do not qualify as panic attacks… but it’s close. My heart beats faster, my ear buzz, and I just want to shout “STOP!” Bryan knows what I need when I tell him I am having a Chaos Moment; he knows I am ready to pop.
That is what this entire summer has felt like.
One, long, never-ending Chaos Moment.
Mostly of my own design, of course… seeing as I am a planner out the wing-wang and there has been so much fun stuff to do; I packed it all in ’till we were the poster children for the over-scheduled. Dinner here, party there, swimming here, playdate here, park now, working hard, launching three sites, paying bills, running errands, concerts, BBQs, more parties, quick trip here, run back there… buzz buzz buzz buzz BUZZ!
MAKE IT STOP!
…. [exhale] …
But school has started, we’ve sailed past Declan’s birthday, the night air is turning cooler.
I know the craziness of the holidays looms around the corner, but for now, the chaos has settled. The ringing in my ears has stopped. I don’t feel like a squirrel running around the house wondering what I need to do next.
The therapist often says I am very in tune with the light and the changing of the seasons.
I am ready to hibernate.