From Dance Dates To Being Gay In One Conversation

Declan is home with me this week for Spring Break. Which means lots of trying to work while trying to entertain my very precocious 9 year old. But the thing I like best about the times he is home with me, other than forcing manual labor on him, is when we just get to sit and just talk. Like when we had lunch on a patio yesterday, soaking up the amazing weather in Denver right now.

“Lots of kids in my grade took dates to the dance last week.”

Wow, really? I asked him if that was encouraged, because as I have mentioned in the past, I am not big on forced dating at this age because it is “cute” or “fun” or anything other than lunacy.

“No, no. Kids just started doing it.”

OK. More calm.

“Did you go with anyone?”

Instant pink face. He had not, but there *was* someone he wanted to go with, oddly enough a girl who declared – when they were 4 years old – that they would be marry someday. I asked who else went with “dates” and he listed off friend after friend, and I was kind of shocked how widespread it was.

Then Declan told me, in his most matter of fact voice – they he prefers to fly solo. He leaned back in his chair non-nonchalantly as he said this, and kind of squinted into the sun. I wondered if he had been watching some Paul Newman movies on Netflix without our knowledge.

“Well, I guess I sort of had a date the last time. [Friend who is a boy] and I went together. And he licked my hand too.”

Besides squirming at all the germs that must have passed between them, I was interested how Declan considered this a date.

“Well, I guess it wasn’t a date, since we are two guys.”

I went on to explain that two guys can date, it is perfectly normal… and if – when he ACTUALLY starts dating – he likes to go out with men, his dad and I will always love and support him.

“Oh, Mom. I know.”

He’s nowhere near figuring any of that stuff out right now.

I only took two things from the conversation seriously.

The fact that he was willing to share these things with me…

And that he knows I will love him no matter what.


This article has 10 comments

  1. Everyfann

    This is awesome Aimee.

  2. Laura

    This makes me smile.

  3. Mark Gammon

    super awesome!

  4. Mooflower

    Sounds like a great lunchtime chat. 🙂

  5. Sue at nobaddays

    All kinds of awesome.

  6. Colleen_Boulder

    Awesome post that made me smile!

  7. lasmmc

    Oh that dance was the bain of my existence last week! i had a girl emotionally crushed over that nonsense! it turned into a selection of dodge ball teams with mean things said and exhibited. oona was ready to change schools! i hope declan did not
    suffer as she did. cruel is all i can say.

  8. Mimi McMi

    Nine is a bit young to worry about going solo or not. I do not encourage it, nor do we encourage our now 14 year old have dates to her dances. She flies solo with her besties. They like boys, but do not want to have boyfriends.
    The whole it’s ok if you like same sex is how we approach life, as well. Our neighbor’s high school daughter has girlfriends, and we let our daughter know it’s ok. Maybe that is why she never tells us is she has any crushes same sex or opposite.

  9. Maricris @ SittingAround

    I have 7yr old son, and he sometimes talk about cute girls on his class or something like that. I entertained the talks, But I’m always trying to change the topic and draw his attention to something else.

  10. JennyMoose

    He is a wonderful, thoughtful young MAN.

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