I finally let Declan watch Star Wars. A New Hope, to be exact. Number 1 to us, Number 4 to him. Those of you who know me well? Please don’t send me the bill for the concussion you just got for falling off your chair.
Yes. I realize I am crazed about Declan and violence on TV.
Hell, half the time in the morning he still watches the Wiggles. His choice, which proves I was totally right about him being gay, but no matter.
Here’s the thing.
THERE ARE NO APPROPRIATE MOVIES FOR SIX AND SEVEN YEAR OLDS. Teasing about gayness aside, I hate gender bias, but the truth is, there are even less quality movies for BOYS.
Either someone dies, a parent leaves, a friend dies, a dog dies, a whale dies, a dolphin swims away into the ocean, a crazy clown beats up a dog, a dog’s friend dies – or some combination of the above.
Take The Waterhorse. Rated PG for “some action/peril, mild language and brief smoking.” How about rated PG-13 for “being told in confusing flashbacks that no kid can understand, social ambiguity because the ‘good’ guys – the English army sent to protect the town from the Nazi’s – are actually bad guys cause they are mean shitheads who shoot at the little boys pet dragon sea horse thing – and oh yeah, also! The dad that the kid believes is alive and well and just off patriotically fighting the war? He’s DEAD.”
This is why I let Declan watch Star Wars. It’s easily definable. Luke = Good. Darth = Bad. Until the later [earlier] episodes when Anakin is good, but whatever. Sure there are some light saber scenes that got dicey for him. But it was WAY better than trying to explain FLASHBACKS. Seriously. Think about it. How confusing would that seem to a kid who is used to singing “Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy” and dancing along with Henry the Octopus???
So. Here I am. On the Bad Mommy Violent Movie Express.
At least I can stomach what we are watching for once.