Justin Timberlake would be so proud.
Declan has always been a fairly sedate child, and getting him to stay in his chair at mealtime has always been fairly easy. And this is a huge pet peeve of mine. Sorry guys, hate to throw stones – but it drives me nuts when children run loose at dinnertime, especially older children. But lately I am getting a taste of that old Mommy-Eat-What-You-Scoffed-At Medicine because that kid will not fricking sit still at dinner any more. Part of me is rejoicing because, hello – here is proof that he is indeed a child, and not a 40 year old man! But most of me is just annoyed.
So we have been working on it.
And working on it.
Today at lunch, he slipped off his chair while fidgeting around and bonked his chin. Not too hard, mind you. But enough for me to say, “SEE. See why we ask you to sit nice in your chair? HA!”
And then, since I am ever mindful of my German Dictator Mommy style, I started making him laugh by cupping the air with both hands and telling him in a funny voice that both buttcheeks* need to be on the chair. He giggled and moved a little bit more on the chair.
Then Bryan launched into song: “1. Put your butt in the chair. 2. Put your other butt in the chair. 3. Sit up in your chair.” To which I fell into hysterics, because Dick In A Box is the funniest thing to come out of SNL in a long, long, time. Of course, Declan didn’t get us, but some day he will. Some day. And he finally got his whole toosh up in the chair. For a whole 3 minutes.
Next stop: Crazy Glue.
*Sidenote: The word “butt” is very rarely spoken in our household. Because “butt” is pretty much the 4 year old dirty word equivalent of “ass”… but how the hell to you say buttcheeks without “butt?” Bumcheek? The Two Behinds?
We say, “Two cheeks on the chair, please!” over and over and over and over again. The first time E looked at me puzzled but she figured it out pretty quickly. Which doesn’t mean she abides by it for more than 30 seconds at a time, but still…