Missing the Clique

I was at an event not that long ago, and met one of my favorites from Twitter. You know, one of the ones you read a lot not because you know them in real life, but because they are interesting and witty and funny… which is also presumably how they end up on the site Favrd a lot. Because clearly they are a bunch of other people’s favorite too. [And no, I am not going to tell you who.]

Because he is a dick.

When I met him, he gave me THE LOOK. Up and down. You know that LOOK. Sizing me up. Is she cool enough to hang with me? Is she interesting enough? Witty enough? Funny enough? And he had to crane his neck because of the vast difference in our heights. So either the height thing pissed him off, or more like it, I failed the one second size-up, but immediately he was on the attack.

“So, Aimee, what do you for a living?”

“I own a company that does health education research, graphic design, and multimedia development.”

“Wow. That’s like five nouns. Your company does five nouns?”


“No really! Health education, research, graphic design, multimedia, development.”

And he actually ticked them off on his fingers for me. Little did he know we do RESEARCH of HEALTH EDUCATION, and not to mention WHY THE FUCK WAS HE SPLITTING MULTIMEDIA DEVELOPMENT?

It was one of those moments where you wish you had a witty, interesting, funny thing to say back. To tell him about the awesome work my company does. That I employ THIRTY PEOPLE. That we are the 60th largest women-owned company in Colorado. Fucker.

But all I could think of in my head was, “You’re a dick, and I bet you got that way cause you are sick of being so damn short.”

I didn’t say that.

What I did say, to Bryan, later, was that I realized something. That the cliques we had in high school still exist. They have just changed. Sure, there are some jocks. But more so, it’s the nerds, the smarts, the funnys who have risen to the top – at least in my world – and formed a new clique. A clique that judges you by how interesting you are. [Which I am not.]

And in some ways, I find that cool.

And in some ways, people who judge you in one second are still dicks.

This article has 38 comments

  1. Anonymous

    Weren’t you the one making fun of some lady at dinner last night? Isn’t that making a one second decision about someone? I unfollowed you after that btw.

  2. Brandi

    You can be in my group. It’s totally cool. We have matching hats.

    You can also look me up and down as much as you want and we can talk about grammar all night long.

    However, you being taller than me, yeah, kinda irks me a bit.

  3. laurie

    Wasn’t that the same night the guy from Philly told me apropos of nothing that I would always be a child because I didn’t have children? You know, based upon how much that experience had enlightened him? That was dick night, apparently.

  4. Mary Lynn

    Yikes…who meets someone and is immediately on the attack like that?

  5. Miss Grace

    I’m pretty sure you’re pretty cool. He’s just suffering from Little Man Syndrome.

  6. Kath

    Totally hear you!

    Sometimes the ‘social’ part of social media isn’t all that pleasant.

    As far as we here in Kathyland go, you are the ‘coolest of the cool’ and are honored and totally jazzed to have you as an online AND IRL friend.

    Plus? You can always unleash Mr. Lady on to whoever disses you. Case closed.

  7. Mrs. Flinger

    Dicks will be dicks. And you’re in my clique, remember? The one where we just laugh because things are funny and say stupid things because we are ok with who we are?

    I like our clique. Werd.

  8. Meghann

    Anonymous posters are so cool, I wanna be just like them.

  9. Shel

    I don’t think Anonymous quite understands the meaning of “unfollow.”

  10. Kerri Anne

    One, or five, or ten-second size-ups are ridiculous. But hey, on the plus side, at least his behavior confirmed he is no one you want to know.

  11. Pgoodness

    What a jackass (I hope I don’t follow him!!)

  12. Julie @ The Mom Slant

    Heh. Totally.

  13. Joy!

    Eh. Some people think they are being all witty, but really they are being indulgent in expressing their snitty feelings on others. (Lord, people, grow up!) It’s hard to be shat upon by someone you’ve admired, though. Not a fun feeling.

  14. Joy!

    I don’t think I was clear. I’m not aggravating at you, dear Aimee! Just at those snotty people. 🙂

  15. Angela

    Obviously a Napoleon complex. No worries, you are way cool.

  16. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Thanks all. We have our on rocking clique. Especially you Mrs. Flinger, who adopted me at BlogHer last year, and Laurie, who adopted me at SXSW.

    And Anonymous. Hmmm. Well, you are right, I did size up the lady that looked like she was from the Winger video with the Snow White voice. But in my defense, feeble as it may be, I wasn’t actually *talking* to her. Had I been talking to her, I would have been certainly nice and pleasant all things you are when talking to Snow White. And also, saying she looked like she was from a Winger video wasn’t mean, it was the truth. Because Kip Winger is fucking awesome.

  17. The Bug

    How tall are you? I was SUPPOSED to be tall, but who knew I’d hit my peak (so to speak) in the 5th grade? I felt a little let down by life after that (I topped out at 5’4″ – & now apparently I’m 5’3″). Because when I meet people like that I just sort of fold into myself & stop talking – for some reason I think I little height would help matters.

  18. amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay

    I love you girl. You are wicked cool.

  19. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Bug – I am 5’10”. 😉

  20. Burgh Baby

    You are totally an interesting person. I swears it.

  21. Ashleigh

    I hate cliques! I just do my own thing.

    Seems to work.

  22. kate chaux

    I’ve felt the same way at a few SM-type events, like I was evaluated and immediately found to be “not cool enough” or “not hip enough” or “not (whatever) enough”. It put me off venturing out to those kinds of things for a while. And you’re right, it totally feels like high school, which (for me, anyway) sucked on so many levels.

    But, I’m gonna keep trying. There are dicks out there everywhere, seems like there’s one in almost every environment, and sooner or later you figure out that magic way to deal with them that works for you. Me, I stare down from my full 6′ and let them squirm.

  23. Chad

    I hear you on this one, but I’m won’t hesitate to mention names. @RobMcNealy and @zaibatsu are complete pricks. Rob McNealy was the first to knock my friend and I for what we do and told us “We aren’t using Twitter ‘right’.”

    Uh. I have fun. That is about it.

    On the other hand, Reg was there laughing at it all. But really, he only talks to woman thinking he is big shot, telling them how BIG he was on Digg before he got kicked off.

    Thank goodness for beer at tweetups.

  24. ~Sheryl

    Mean people really do suck.

  25. Laura aka LaLaGirl

    And hey, Kip Winger went to Wheat Ridge High School! Bit of Colorado trivia, there. How can you ever call yourself not interesting? You are fucking FASCINATING, Aimee. And, since I met you sitting down while in an exciting round of speed dating, I don’t think I realized you were super tall. Huh. Don’t worry about the cliques. They’re always gonna be there. (I’m going to read this out loud to myself a few times, since I still encounter cliquish bitches with regularity in my life.)

  26. Busymomma66

    I like your blog and you totally had me until you implied that it was ok to talk behind someone’s back vs. just being rude to them up front.

    I still think you’re cool, and everyone slips up and does this. But personally, I’d rather have the obnoxious bore than a person I thought was cool and friendly stab me in the back.

  27. Fairly Odd Mother

    I am SO JEALOUS of you 5’10” and above women. I hated being tall and now I wish I was taller (I’m 5’9″).

    Oh, and the clique thing? Sucks. I’m sure there will be a lot of people who meet me at BlogHer and think, “eh, whatever”. So be it.

  28. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Busymomma66, I can see how you would take that comment like that. This is also one of the problems of communicating on short bursts via blogs comments sometimes. And not sure how to explain myself without digging to hole deeper, but my main point was this, I try to be nice to people when I meet them. I don’t ever go out of my way to intentionally make them uncomfortable like the guy I wrote about was doing. Do I make fun of people in a bar once in a while because they have crazy 1986 hair? Yes. I am not THAT nice.

  29. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    And FOM- another reason I am sad not to be at BlogHer this year, not seeing you.

  30. Busymomma66

    Totally understand Aimee. Been on both sides and blindsided, so I guess I’m sensitive.

    None of us are that nice, no matter how hard we try! lol.

    Hope you are having fun!

  31. thecheekofgod

    Yep. I’m 40 and can vouch for the fact that cliques still exist. And they are even more exclusive and snooty.

    I’ve run across people like that around blogland, people too whatever to take a moment and say hello.

    Fuck ’em, I say . . .

    (I’m over here because my buddy Christine is a fan . . . )

  32. Caleb Chang

    Perhaps platform shoes would have saved Mr. Villechaize from being such a bitter pill. How most unfortunate.

    You’re right, Aimee. The cliques have evolved and they’re lingering around like a bad odor. I observe them every day when I pick up my son from elementary school. It’s quite sad & comical (May I say that gravity has not been kind to the trophy wives clique).

    I’ve met a few of my Twitter friends in real life and I get the same once over too. “I thought you’d be short because of your avatar.” My inside voice usually replies, “Well silly – there’s a reason why Changstein is looking DOWN at you.” I’m 6’2″.

    I’ve given up trying to be interesting. “I yam who I yam.” Hope y’all can deal with that.

  33. Katja

    This was an awesome post and reminded me of meeting another un-named twitiot that a lot of people follow, but in reality he is just like the one you met (I wonder if we even talk about the same dude..). You are cool 🙂

    And what? No BlogHer? That sucks.

  34. Rhiannon

    Hate big-timers. And, unfortunately, I seem to run across them all the time.

    (also, WHAT THE HELL? NO BLOGHER?!!)

  35. Schmutzie

    I met a lovely person recently who asked me about my blog stats within a couple of minutes of first speaking to me. I told him for some reason, and he proceeded to tell me how this number and that number reflected poorly because the big law firm he’s marginally affiliated with has site stats much higher. I’m sure that his dick was so much bigger for being part of an organization whose website HE DOESN’T EVEN RUN gets more hits than my little weblog.

    Sometimes, these self-appointed tech gurus can just stuff it.

  36. mamabirdsblog

    I often wonder how the people I follow on Twitter would be in real life, and what you described is kind of what I expected. Though I’m sure most of them are very nice people in person, the anonymity of the internet and the possibility for anyone to become a star from their living room, means a lot of social nerds can rise to the top without any real public social skills what-so-ever. They are better off staying home than allowing themselves to be discovered.

    BTW, I think you intimidated this guy for sure. You’re way out of his league in more categories than just height!

  37. Sizzle

    This is why I steer clear of all that favrd and what not. I just can’t care because it’s all subjective.

  38. monstergirlee

    I’m 5′ 11 1/2″.
    Can I be in your clique too?

    kiss kiss!

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