Press 1 to kill your husband.
A: ((dials Bryan’s extension… ringg ringg
B: ((
A: ((1))
B: I’m sorry, all Bryan’s are busy right now. If you would like to talk to a horse, press 2.
A: ((2))
B: Now, if you would like to speak to a horse in Spanish, press uno. Or, if you would like to speak to a German horse, press zwei.
A: ((2))
B: I am sorry, the German horse has been put out to pasture.
A: ((presses buttons all over the phone and holds them for annoyingly long periods of time)) B: I am sorry, I did not understand your selection. Please try again. A: ((forgets what she called about and hangs up))