God Talk With A 6 Year Old

Did you see this tweet over the weekend?

What led to that comment was innocent enough chatter. Holidays. Favorite holidays. Christmas. And then “Oh, yeah, God does not exist” pops out from the very smart and very precocious kid who was over to play with Declan for the day.

My son? He launched immediately into a discourse on the fact that he thought Jesus *did* exist, because Jesus was in that song, you know, the one by Boney M? And treated us with a very loud and full scale rendition of the song right then and there in Noodles & Company.

Here’s the thing. I think I have mentioned before that Bryan and I consider ourselves agnostic. Not by the strict definition exactly, just basically that we believe in *something* – we just don’t know what.

Try explaining THAT to a 6 year old.

We have skirted the issue a few times, and one thing we definitely believe in is respect for everyone’s beliefs. Well, except for Tom Cruise and all those assholes who try to tell me I am going to hell if I don’t agree with them. And people who wave “God Hates Fags” signs. Gah.

But in general, I am all about to each his own.

So of course, Declan’s friend’s comment sparks some questions. I told Declan that a lot of people think that people created God in their imaginations a long time ago to have something to put their faith in. And that I tended to agree with them, actually. I just don’t know what else is out there.

[I am hedging my bets, basically.]

And in one of Declan’s books, there was a good section that talked about religion in general. All major religions. Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism, on and on. I was reading about the different facets of the religions, their holy books, traditions, where they worship, who they believe in and why…

Declan, clearly in over his head and not to mention, bored, pipes up with this: “MY religion is all about keeping my pants up in public, so my behind doesn’t show.”

Alrighty then.

I think that about covers God for a while.

This article has 35 comments

  1. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    TC – I just spit my drink out.

  2. Kelly

    That’s dogma I can agree with. 🙂

  3. Anonymous

    that kid is so awesome! – m

  4. Lisa

    Now there is a religion I could get behind. (snort)

  5. Miss Grace

    I’m glad that there’s someone else out there who follows my chosen religion.

  6. zipper

    Declan rocks.

  7. Autumn

    Wow I totally want to be part of Declans religion!

  8. monstergirlee

    I did see that tweet.

    I think Declan’s religion is a very good aspiration.
    Wow, where do kids come up with these things. He is (will be) a force to be reckoned with.

  9. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Great article, thanks Nat!

  10. Thursday's Child

    As an overweight guy, I’d have to wear vestment suspenders to be in your son’s religion. That’s not a lack of faith, is it?

  11. UrbanVox

    sounds like good advice! 🙂
    I am a pastor in a faith crisis at the moment so I know the feeling…
    I believe in something… or someone… but I do believe there is more than one way to see truth… And the truth shall set you free…
    I teach my son what I know… doesn’t matter how complicated… I’ll let him take his own conclusions… as I did.
    one thing is for sure… no human being is going to hell and no one is going to float into heaven (which is supposed to be on earth any ways) the bible says it so…
    why people preaches the opposite is a mystery to me.
    we live and we learn everyday… and we pass what we learn…
    this is my religion…
    meanwhile… I’ll try and keep my pants up so no one can see my arse as well… 🙂

  12. Jamie

    Can I get an ‘AMEN’! Haha. I wanna go to Declan’s church.

  13. J at www.jellyjules.com

    We’re atheists who celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah, which when Maya was Declan’s age, made her think we were both Christian and Jewish.

    Yeah, it’s confusing stuff.

  14. Bridge

    My sister took her son to Mass with her on Christmas, he is 4. He impatiently wondered (out loud numerous times) “When is God going to GET here?!”.

    Good luck with Declan-what a thoughtful boy!

  15. Christina

    I think that is the funniest thing I’ve heard in days!! Did you bust out laughing? I would have been dying! I AM dying over here. Now to explain to my co-workers why I just woke them up from their post-lunch afternoon stupor with my guffaws.

    Keep those pants up indeed young man!!

  16. Megan

    Really love this post, and appreciate it, especially out of the mouths of babes, they speak such honesty.
    p.s. I live in the town with the crazy God Hates Fags sign toting idiots, they are an embarrassment.

  17. Anonymous

    thewse are all really great and funny comments, enjoyed this post alot.

  18. Zeynep

    This past November, my 8.5 year old asked me whether we were Christians. Right away, my 5.5 year old said, “no silly, we’re Jewish.”

    ps.: We are a deist/agnostic couple living in a 99.99% Muslim country. Our celebration of Halloween is as strange as our Christmas tree, and we still have Chinese take-out for Thanksgiving, yet go and visit relatives for all Muslim holidays as well. Of course they’re confused.

    I told them they had to be at least teenagers to decide what they were and they should start researching cuz there was soooo much to learn about all the different religions. Yeah, and they should do the math themselves as to when they will become teenagers, and that age is at least 13, maybe even 14 in my book.

    ps2: I read somewhere that leaving children devoid of some sort of religion makes them feel disconnected to the rest of the world later in life. So I asked my dad what his answer was when I inquired about religion and God as a child. He said, “of course I told you my own belief, there is no such thing.” I turned out OK, with self found belief of some sort I guess.

  19. Nat

    All in all, I think that Declan’s beliefs are sounds.

    I read this on the weekend.

  20. the mama bird diaries

    Sounds like an excellent religion. Hilarious.

  21. SP

    I want to attend a service at your son’s church. Awesome!

  22. zenrain

    i needed that laugh right now 😉

  23. fruitlady

    Just has to read that out loud to my whole family because I laughed out loud, and I figured your family’s comings and goings hadn’t sparked enough deep and meaningful talks in our family yet this week.

  24. Rachael

    Well, keeping your pants up in public is definitely something to do religiously.

    Sounds like you’re handling it just fine!

  25. Ali

    he is so awesome. seriously.
    totally a religion i can get behind.

    (bad joke totally unintended. heh)

  26. MB

    I’ve gotten a lot of God questions lately, too. Or accusations. Ellie tells me all the time that I am “talking like God.” Usually it’ when I direct her to be NICE. She busts out with a “MOOOOOM, you’re talking like GOD again.” What?

    After much soul searching and self-examination, I have decided to launch and lead MY church: The Church of Pink. Oh, how I worship that woman. Just listen to “Glitter in the Air.” That’s church, man.

  27. Lauren

    good for you for being so honest!!!

  28. Ashleigh


  29. Burgh Baby

    Thank you for providing me with the EXACT line I shall use when Alexis asks about God. God=pants. It’s perfect.

  30. Oz

    I think we can all agree that Declan’s religion is a good one. I’m pro-pants myself.

  31. carrie

    That is my religion too!

  32. mothergoosemouse

    Can you introduce us to Dex’s friend?

    On the way to Boulder last Friday night, I got a barrage of questions from Tacy (and some questionable answers from CJ, who just likes to pull numbers out of her butt) about how many people in our neighborhood, in Denver, in Colorado are atheist.

    But really, I think Declan ought to start proselytizing Tacy. You’d be shocked by the amount of butt crack on display around here.

  33. Megan

    I love Declan.

  34. motherbumper

    Holy crow, Declan and I worship at the same alter. Nice to know I’m not alone in the house of protected tushies.

  35. Nadine

    Hahaha! Let me know when he opens a church! 🙂

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