His "Kids" and the F-Word

A long time ago, Declan’s imaginary friends were named “Vo” and about 13 other nameless faceless schlubs who were just along for the ride. As he has matured, his imaginary friends have morphed into his “kids.” As in, he is the teacher and they are his pupils.

What can I say, only children need something to occupy the time, right?

He still totally uses his “kids” to understand the world around him, feel like the boss, or talk through crap that happens at school he can’t get his head around.

For example:

Declan: [huge sigh…] “Yeah, well. My kids got in big trouble today. They said the f-word at school.”

Bryan: “Oh really? What did you do?”

Declan: [all nonchalant] “I sent them to the principal’s office. I mean, they said the f-word. What else could I do?”

Bryan: “I see what you mean. That’s a pretty big deal, huh?”

Declan: “Absolutely. You say the f-word, you get in big trouble.”

[long pause]

Declan: “Dada, what’s the f-word?”

This article has 20 comments

  1. Rhiannon

    Awww. Clever little guy!

  2. joansy

    I think Dex needs to meet my 6 year old Sophie. This was our recent conversation:

    Soph: sometimes I think bad things in my head.

    Me: like what?

    Soph: I can’t tell you. I’ll get in trouble.

    Me: It’s okay, tell me. You won’t get in trouble.

    Soph: My brain say “momma is stupid.”

    Me: I think your initial instinct was right. It’s best not to tell me when you have those thoughts.

    Soph: I thought so.

  3. Sizzle

    Awesome. I used to think the F word was “fuff” which my parents instructed me to never say (with straight faces even).

  4. mothergoosemouse

    I’m pretty sure that one of my kids will spill it in the next few years or so. Let me know when you want to stop scheduling playdates.

  5. SP

    That is so cute! What a sweet little man and what a great way for him to work through the hard and confusing things

  6. Megan

    What did Bryan tell him???

  7. JenniBeanV

    LOL! Tell him it is “flatulence”!

  8. MB

    my four year old daughter just said this:

    “I’m going to beat the crap out of that fly!”

    Then she turned, looked at me and said, “what does that mean?”

  9. Becky

    Oh that is so cute! I love it!

  10. zenrain

    i can’t wait to see him!!!!

  11. Sue at eLuckypacket

    Sweet Declan!

  12. KiniWoman

    Such precious times. Enjoy them while they last for they all grown up WAY too fast!

  13. Untypically Jia

    LOL That is too precious!

  14. monstergirlee

    Awesome!
    I have an anecdote I’d like to share, but I cannot remember it all the way, so I’ll save it for another time.
    Kids. Gotta love ’em. Seriously.

  15. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Ha! I love all your stories! TFS!

  16. Heather B.

    It’s a good thing that Bryan and I played wii after he went to bed. Or else he would have heard the ‘f word’ in all it’s lovely variations.

    See you in two weeks! ūüėČ

  17. Ali

    my kids think the “s” word is stupid.
    i can’t imagine how long it’ll last, but i’m enjoying it!! hahaha!

  18. Mitch McDad

    sadly, my kids are all to familiar with the f-word.

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