I snuggled into his bed to watch him play because I was tired. I was drained. Every one of our conversations that day felt like I was pulling myself back from a void, into the present. Forcing myself to pay attention to the words that were coming out of his mouth.

The least I could do was lay there, in his bed, and watch him play, right? He deserves at least that?

But then he wanted me to chase him around the house. While my depression has been improving, I just was not at that place, in that moment, where I could bring myself out of the fog long enough for such exuberance.

I told him no. And then felt crushed with the guilt that I can’t enjoy these simple moments with my son – gifts really – that seem to slip through my hands so quickly. Quicker every day.

He looked at me. He gave me a pensive stare. And then he smiled. As if he knew exactly what I needed.

He started slowly piling his stuffed animals on me. Playing peekaboo with them. At a pace that matched me perfectly. Then he would pile so many on my head that I could not see him and he would tickle me. Then he made me grab at them as he ran around the room, ever so slowly awakening my spark. Making me giggle. Making me engage.

By the time our other third returned home from the grocery store, we had all the animals performing back flips off the bed, talking to each other in crazy voices… and we were both laughing uproariously.

I am so lucky for this miracle in my life.

This article has 35 comments

  1. Lauren

    lovely post.

  2. zipper

    good one. it’s hard to be in the present sometimes.

  3. Sizzle

    kids are fantastic that way. my nephew can pull me out of any funk- and i don’t even live with him.

    what a great kid you have. 🙂

  4. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Sue, you are so right. Very well put.

    Thanks all. xoxox

  5. Alida

    Kids are really the best aren’t they? I bet the Super Bowl cheered you up a bit too.

  6. Mayberry

    What a sweetheart! You knew he needed you to be with him, even if you didn’t feel up to much more. And he knew how to gently bring you out. Beautiful.

  7. Nat

    Love this story. 🙂

    I love the ability our kids have to read what we need even if we don’t know it ourselves.

    I’m at work and I really miss my kid today.

  8. Megan

    I love this post. What a darling boy.

  9. Sarah O.

    So sweet! Kids bring out the best in us, don’t they?

  10. Emily

    What a great story! Thank you for sharing it with us.

  11. Sue at eLuckypacket

    Isn’t it amazing how sometimes *they* end up carrying us instead of us carrying them? I think the fact that they don’t grasp what we’re dealing with helps a lot 🙂

  12. soccer mom in denial

    oh Aimee. So lovely.

    As I hid under my covers yesterday desperately wishing this hacking cough to go away, I kept having little people come in, lift the covers and offer me things. I probably had more cough drops stuffed in my mouth in an hour than is recommended.

    Hang in there babe.

  13. MB

    perfect post – one that hit home for me, too.

  14. Nancy

    The innocence of youth. Unfettered and able to lift us up with the strengths they have within. You have a beautiful boy. Inside and out.

  15. Melissa

    Aw – What a cutie pie. Stay strong. Here comes the Sun, la la la la!…. 😀

  16. Anonymous

    Declan has always been such a love. He is always considerate of everyone around him…..but then, I’ve always said he has an old sole. He’s wonderful and I love him.


  17. crabapple

    what a great kid. sensitivity is such a great quality in a person.

  18. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Thanks so much everyone. He is one great kid and I really appreciate him.

    Even if his great aunt thinks he is a shoe. ;))

  19. joansy

    Great post Aimee.

  20. anne

    Very sweet, Aimee. You do have a very special little boy.

  21. Stacey

    What a nice kid.

  22. Much More Than a Mom

    How awesome.

  23. blogapotamus

    It is SO HARD to be “on” when you’re depressed. Sounds like you have a fantastic little man!

  24. carrie

    Kids have super powers. Didn’t you know? 🙂

    That was really very sweet Aimee. I love that we can be who we are in front of our children and they love us no matter what, even when we’re vulnerable.

  25. Lara

    so sweet. just a couple weeks ago, the two-year-old i work with did the same for me when i was totally sick with a bad cold. (which, duh, not at all the same as depression, but still, it’s sweet when they understand, huh?)

  26. Kelly O

    What a honey bear you have there. And SO gorgeous!

  27. Renaissance Woman

    Thanks for the post…it was a perfect story to share.

  28. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Lara, totally – we all need a lift sometimes!

  29. Emily

    that gave me the warm fuzzies.

    and sorry you are still down.

  30. Anonymous

    loved that one.

  31. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Awww, you guys are so sweet. I feel like I am just following many other great bloggers, though.

  32. Christina

    This is probably one of my favorite blog posts ever. I wish I could write 1/10th as well as you.

    I don’t suffer from depression, but I do have days when being connected is harder than you would think. I completely related to this story.

    What a lovely little miracle you have.

  33. Sock Girl

    What a beautiful, poignant post.

  34. Autumn

    Oh God, this post just hit me so close to home. I have tears in my eyes. Lovley post.

  35. Nadine

    Beautiful post! I’m glad you have that amazing cute boy to fill even your dark days wit so much joy!

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