Massive Clusterfuck

Bryan warned me. After he did the first drop off this AM at Declan’s new school – he sat me down, put his hands on my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes and warned me that school was chaos right now. I somewhat believed him. Until I got there.

And. Saw. For. Myself.

His teacher explicitly told us yesterday to arrive at 3:40 and the children would be brought out to the car. (I have a call in to Jenny to see if I was high during this conversation – but no confirmation on that yet). So I sat in the line and waited. I even got out and confirmed with the truck behind me that I was following the correct protocol. I watched as Declan played for 10 minutes on the playground and then I watched his teacher round the remaining kids up and brought them back inside the school.

Um, what?

So I got out of the car and took off like a shot after them. Into the school and up the stairs – and then his teacher says, “Oh, there’s your Mom, Declan!” Great way to start the year off, being “late” the first day. I, however, maintain my innocence and politely asked about the whole “Do not get out of your car. The children will be brought to your car. I repeat, do not get out of your car” speech. She looked at me like I was a looney bird and said, “Oh no – that’s for the older kids only. Preschool kids need to be signed in and out.” I just smiled – remembering this woman was in charge of my son 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for the next 9 months – and quickly herded Declan out the door, but I was thinking to myself, “Why in the fuck did you even bring up the whole ‘DO NOT GET OUT OF YOUR CAR’ thing to a room full of Preschool parents?”

I rush back to the car – knowing full well I was completely holding up the drive through situation for those parents who were not allowed to exit their vehicle… and sure enough, the Drive Thru Nazi was waiting for me. I got lectured up and down about not leaving my car… I explained my whole haggard situation… and all I got was pursed lips. When tears started (and I wasn’t even faking to get this lady off my back), she finally said, “Well, don’t worry about it – we all want to help new parents learn the ropes.” Um, whatever, lady. Help would have been some organization. Communication. Something.

I drove away and bawled my eyes out for 10 minutes.

I have to assume that all schools are this fucked up. They just have to be. And if I am wrong, please please please. Do not enlighten me.