Theology By Mail
Folding clothes last night...
Declan: “I respect my clothes. My clothes are awesome.”
Aimee: “Um, that’s good.”
Declan: “No, really. I respect my clothes. I respect God, and he respects clothes, so I respect them too.”
[OK. Hold up. Those of you who know us, know we are agnostic at best. We believe in a higher power, but not any one religion. And Declan has been randomly mentioning God and Jesus lately. Out of the blue. Like how the other day, he wished he could bring his PopPop, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus back from the dead. I told him he had to BE Jesus to do that.]Aimee: “So, buddy. You have been talking about God a lot lately. Where have you been hearing about him?” [Wondering if his summer camp is having Jesus Week or something.]
Declan: [Looking at me with the most serious, earnest face ever] “The Oriental Trading Company catalog.”
Aimee: “I’m sorry, did you say… the Oriental Trading Company catalog???“
Declan: “Yes! They have a whole section on God. They had a sign post pointing one way to God inside a heart. And a beachball with God on it. And! And!…”
I had to leave the room because I was laughing so hard.
And I am going to hell.
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Oh my Sexy Fat Imaginary Goddess, that is hysterical! You crack me up:)
Hahaha! TOO funny!
That. is. awesome.
God works in mysterious ways.
He’s right. The OTC has a huge religious section. I’ve often marveled at it while picking out birthday party favors. In truth, some of the items that they slap a cross or praying hands on makes me a little uncomfortable…but my mother was a nun so I’m warped going in.
God works in mysterious, and surprisingly affordable ways.
I love Kim “my mother was a nun..” THERE is a story I need to hear.
and you’re right, this is too awesome. Seriously.
Since it’s the only source of God in our house too, I put it on their nightstands for easy access.
Oriental Trading Co. Catalog….isn’t that what the nice Jehovas Witness ladies give me when they knock on my door on Sundays?
Too too funny.
This is hysterical. Funniest thing I have read all day!
HE IS HILARIOUS!!! -m
The soda that I kept in my mouth barely while reading this was lost entirely upon reading Mr. Lady’s comment.
Mine goes to a private Catholic school – so I’ve been fielding fun theology questions all year. Every answer preceded with “Well some people believe…”
My favorite though was upon learning the Easter story, the following conversation happened in the car:
Kidlet “Mommy? didn’t you say that in Heaven, it’s all just souls and people don’t take their bodies with them?”
Me (recalling the multiple discussions of this upon death of cat last fall) “That’s right dear. Bodies don’t go to Heaven.”
Kidlet “well, they said today that Jesus was bodily assumed into Heaven at school.”
Me “Uh-huh” (paying attention to driving) “why do you bring it up hon?”
Kidlet “Well don’t you think he feels a little weird being the only one in Heaven with a body? Wouldn’t it be like being naked when everyone else wasn’t?”
I had to pull the car over I was laughing so hard.
oh my god, that cracked me up!! i can’t wait to see him!!
That is hysterical.
The comments on this: equally hysterical, but dammit if GeekMommy’s didn’t make me nearly choke.
that was classic, btw i found you through rajean
Priceless. LOL. 🙂
Diane C.
Hey, Oriental Trading Company, the Book of Mormon…. all good US publications to teach us about God.
Your son is awesome.
I usually skip that section of the catalog, but shall now be reading it with renewed interest, and chuckling all the way!
Yes. You are going to hell. 😉
That is just too funny, I had no idea the enlightenment to be found in the Oriental Trading Company catalog. Maybe the next time someone comes to my door to “save” me, I’ll say, “but! But! I have the Oriental Trading Company catalog!”
When my son was young he studied that catalog too, but he always wanted to plan Tiki parties or go to Chuck E Cheese afterwards. Declan might have a special calling!
(Stumble it y’all!)
Can I get an “Amen!” (in a pack of 12, assorted colors, with the matching center-piece. Thanks.)
That’s a great post!
your boy is awesome. so funny.
now i think i may have to order that beach ball!
O.T.C is down with the G.O.D? Who knew… well apparently Declan does. So darn funny and thank you, I needed this.
I knew there was a reason I kept throwing it out. God knows Tacy doesn’t need any more godly influences in her life.
your. best. post. ever.
Cracking up and loving your son!
note to self—toss the OTC catalog straight into our Unitarian recycling bin. hysterical!
AWESOME.
Priceless! Kids say some of the funniest things.
What a memory!
Wendy
man, i never paid attention to all the jesus business in the those catalogs. i never realized they could print all of that stuff on a tiny plastic bracelet!
You know, God is found in mysterious places. Like the Oriental Trading Company catalog apparently. HA!
Aimee, you know what they say. The Lord works in mysterious ways. The Oriental Trading Company catalog could be one of those ways. YOU NEVER KNOW.
OK, so I am not the first commenter to say this. I just think that gives more weight to my argument.
Does this mean that I can pray to the Church of the Oriental Trading Post Company? I was getting a little tired of my Spaghetti Monster deity.
Peeing. Pants.
This almost makes me wish I hadn’t managed to get off of every catalog mailing list out there.
Jim here, try handing Dex a Trancendal Trading Trading Co. catalog instead. The Thoreau beachball is outstanding, works wonders in Walden pond–especially it’s been autographed by Don Henley!
I loved this post so much I had to email the link to all three of my friends. : )
That is awesomely hilarious.
So funny! My favorite Oriental Trading Company product (which I haven’t seen in a long time, sadly) was a little bubble kit with a cross on it. It was called “Religious Bubbles”.
Sprite just came outta my nose!
That is freakin’ Hilarious!!!!
Wow.
Don’t worry, I will be there with you : )
The boy rocks.
(I’ll see you in hell. We’ll have a drink.)