GUEST POST: Skank Monsters From Outer Space!

OK, OK, I am overflowing with love for the OKC. I don’t even remember how Nathan and I came across each other, but clearly he is my kind of people. And I hope he is… um… OK.
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Skank Monsters From Outer Space!
by Nathan of Okay City

Well, hello there, Greeblemonkey readers! For those few of you who don’t know me from my wildly popular internet website blog, Okay City*, I’m a 29-year-old gay dude from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who dreams of being a famous writer.

Okay then, let’s get down to work.

Look, internet, I’m going to level with you: I’ve had two of the worst weeks a person can have. Seriously, the last two weeks of my life have turned my life upside down in such a way that … well, that’s the thing. I can’t even really describe the changes yet. The details, should you choose to read about them, are there on my website. I didn’t come to talk about the big whammy that’s been going on in my life.

I came here to talk about reality television; my recent tragedy is just the gateway.

The thing about me is, I take almost nothing seriously. In my mind, there is literally nothing that can’t or shouldn’t be made fun of. And so, even when I’m grieving, which we’re doing pretty hard core in my house of late, I’m always looking for the joke. This combination has led to some pretty bizarre behavior on my part.

Internet, I’m just going to come right out with it: in the last two weeks I’ve watched the entire first three seasons of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine on my computer. And loved it.

I have no defense for this behavior, except that I am a nerd, and that the seasons were $13 each on iTunes.

So that’s been happening. And other stuff. And so I’ve been kind of lost in a fog of the mind, one that came back to bite me in the ass on my first day back at work, last Wednesday. It went down something like this:

Coworker: Hey, have you seen that show? That one show about the Cardassians?

Me: Oh my God, that’s so weird! I just watched the first three seasons on iTunes!

Coworker: Okay, well, you know that girl, the one with the big ass, who…

Me: Okay. I’m going to stop you right there. There are no big asses in the future.

Coworker: The future? The hell? No, the chicks, and their skanky mom married Bruce Jenner?

Me: I think you’re thinking of some other show. Bruce Jenner is the guy from Babylon 5 or Battlestar Galactica or something.

OTHER Coworker: That’s Bruce Boxleitner.

Coworker: Whatever. The point is, that on that show about the Cardassians, she went shopping and…

Me: I think we’re talking about two different things here. The Cardassians, the gray people who want to control the wormhole?

Coworker: The worm-huh?

OTHER Coworker: Wait – Nathan, are you confusing Star Trek with Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

Me: What the hell is a Kardashian? I still think you’re talking about Babylon 5.

Coworker: You’re such a snob. You think you’re above reality television, but you’re totally not.

Me: ABOVE it? Did I not just confess to watching three whole seasons of Star Trek? If I was a snob I’d be all, “OH, I JUST WATCH NOVA AND ANTIQUES ROADSHOW AND C-SPAN. YOU PLEBIANS AND YOUR SO-CALLED REALITY TELEVISION ARE LIKE THE PEOPLE IN PLATO’S CAVE.”

Coworker: Plato’s huh? You totally just proved my point.

Me: Grumble Grumble.

And so, Internet, suffice it to say, it’s interesting to be me, if not a little tiny bit frustrating. Many thanks to Aimee for letting me enrich your lives thusly.

*Read by my mother and two of my friends from high school. Hi mom! Hi drinking buddies! And – just in case – hi Jesus!