I am officially old.

My shoulder has been aching for about a month now. So, I finally called over to the orthopedic place that treated the ankle I crushed in Mexico and asked to see their resident Shoulder Dude. (That’s what you ask for when you call orthopedic doctors, because all their specialties are completely unpronounceable).

First, an x-ray. This was my first tip off that I am old and beleaguered because the x-ray technician didn’t even ask me once if I was pregnant. Usually they make you swear up and down that you haven’t had sex in at least 30 days to prove there are no little beans growing, but this dude didn’t even give me a second glance.

I am so old.

Then, when the x-rays proved there were no broken bones, the doc had we move may arm every which way from Sunday. Push here, pull there. Does that hurt? No. How about this? A little. Now this? JESUS H. CHRIST, YES!

Diagnosis? Rotator Cuff Tendinitis.

In layman’s terms?

I am old.

And weak.

He kept saying stuff like, “when people reach a certain age,” and “this is not uncommon for people at your stage of life.” What the hell? I am 37!

And apparently old.

So, then I proceeded to get my first cortisone shot ever. In my SHOULDER. Talk about a weird sensation. A needle full of fluid filling in all the space under that bony cap up there.

And then he prescribed me a month of physical therapy. Told me to build up my strength so this doesn’t happen again. Because, know what he thinks caused it? SLEEPING. So, I need to do physical therapy to build up shoulder strength to overcome the rigors of SLEEPING.

Fuck. I *am* old.

This article has 22 comments

  1. Sizzle

    not even sleeping is safe?! great. i’m so screwed. 😉

  2. Sue at nobaddays

    Think of me as an older, more decrepit sister. Forty is on the horizon – in Feb next year!

  3. Anonymous


  4. aimee / greeblemonkey

    Welcome Lori – and the scary thing is WE HAVE A SLEEP NUMBER BED! 🙂

    And Sue, whew. Glad there is at least ONE person older! 😉

  5. Nat

    Too funny.

    If it’s any consolation. I’ve had rotator cuff issues since I was in my 20s. So you can’t blame it just on old age.

    However, yes, sleeping… driving… motherhood… evidently inhaling… or not… all cause it. One of the docs at work said to me it might be viral. But he did want us to do something him so he may just have been buttering us up. The virus is time or something.

  6. Builder Mama

    Holy damn, old woman!

    Just kidding. I’ve had the same thing off and on for about 10 years now, usually it flares up when I’m painting my house or something that requires a lot of overhead reaching.

    I’ll be, um, 38 this year and I’m already hearing the “at your age…” speeches from my doctors. Ugh. At my age I can still kick some serious ass!

  7. zenrain

    i must say i’m upset he is having you do PT instead of OT!! we are the shoulder people!!!!
    is the cortisone working??

  8. aimee / greeblemonkey

    And P.S. the cortisone *is* helping alot.

  9. chloebear

    personally, I think you have probably been moving in all strange directions when taking your portrait pictures. I have seen you twisted like a pretzel to get the perfect shot! Take it easy! If your old then I have one foot in the grave!

  10. Mrs. Flinger

    If you’re old, I’m dead, woman! 🙂

  11. Lori

    hey aimee, cruised over from nablopomo…

    you need to get a memory foam mattress. then you wouldn’t have to exercise your shoulder to prepare for the rigors of sleep. :^P

    (we were too cheap to get the mattress — so we got the mattress *topper* — still great, though, for people who are so old they injure themselves lying on a soft surface)

  12. Jenn

    sleeping can screw you over 10 ways from Sunday, I swear. so can standing. I had tendinitis in my ankles (several years ago, now, waaay before I was old) from just doing normal stuff like walking and standing normal amounts.

    but I got zapped with electricity instead. shots? now, that’s the way to go!

  13. Mrs. Chicken

    be careful when you brush your teeth – you might break a bone!

    Feel better soon. And cortisone helps a lot.

  14. painted maypole

    just give up sleeping, that will keep you young 😉

  15. Alpha DogMa

    When I was 22 I was diagnosed with bursitis in my shoulder. The cause: my purse. It was rather robust. Still it was the first time my fading youth made me want to cry. And I was all of 22. WTF?

    Do you ever go to Its Not Easy Being the Queen? She went to the doctor recently and he asked if she still had a uterus. Thankfully — for the sake of the doctor’s private bits — Queeny’s got a great sense of humour! You too would be a great pair!

  16. Lisa

    Hi, Aimee! Got here through NaBloPoMo, and I just wanted to say I can’t believe it took me this long to find you. You take such beautiful pictures. Sorry it’s a bit off-topic. 🙂 Hope you feel better soon.

  17. g-man

    Wait till 40 hits. 🙂

    The first thing I do in the morning is roll off my side when I sleep and push my shoulder out until I feel the glorious “POP” of relief.

  18. sue

    HEY! What is this shot thing of which you speak? I, too, got diagnosed with that and had the PT, but nobody gave ME a shot… *huff*

    If you are old, I, my dear, am ANCIENT. (50) LOL

  19. MB

    There are days when I wake up and feel sore, for no apparent reason. I’ll chalk it all up to sleeping now! Thanks you! 🙂

  20. aimee / greeblemonkey

    You all are making me feel MUCH better (hints of sarcasm).

    Sue, the doc said that I could try a week of Advil or just go the quick route and have a shot of cortisone. I am definitely cheap when it comes to alleviating pain, so I chose the shot. 😉

  21. nathan

    wow. you are so old too.


    that’s like, so practically-forty.

  22. aimee / greeblemonkey

    is that Nutmeg’s Nathan??? I’m sooooooo telling on you!!!

Comments are now closed.
Send this to a friend