I wish I could tell you my skin was smooth and bump free. I dream of the day when I can say that. But today is not that day. In fact, the last two weeks have been the worst outbreak of adult cystic acne I have ever had.
So bad I almost considered canceling my speaking gig at Ignite Boulder #13 last night.
I mean, speaking in front of nearly 1,000 people when your face looks like this is pretty intimidating.
But my friend Kath asked me to speak, and I wasn’t going to let her down.
And more importantly, I wasn’t going to let myself down.
Although I still did, every time I felt compelled to tell people at the after-party about my acne. Like I had to tell them that *I* knew it was there, just in case *they* thought *I* didn’t know it was heinous.
These people are my friends.
But when you look down and see half your face has flaked off onto your jacket, you can’t help but feel self conscious.
So, where do I go from here?
I have been trying various new treatments since the last time I talked about this.
It was very nice of the folks from TRIA to send me their blue light skin clarifying therapy system and I really do think it was helping – but the battery life died so quickly on TWO of them, that I can’t say that I would recommend it.
I then did some more googling and found the Zeno Heat Treat, which I bought myself. I also think that one does help by killing the bacteria on new cysts – but again, the wand is very finicky about battery life and seems to shut-off randomly of its own accord. But at least this one takes double-A batteries that can be easily replaced with recyclables. But still – flaky.
Seriously, wand makers!?!? What is the deal?!?! How hard is it to make one of these things that actually works?!?!?
Let me know when you have that all figured out.
So, I continue with my face washing… (my personal favorite is the AcneFree Sensitive Skin System – but the main point is, my skin clearly does well with salicylic acid). That system includes a mild moisturizer, which is key, especially here in Colorado. I also continue with Atralin, a Retin-A, which helps the skin rejuvenate itself and minimize scarring from all these cysts. Although it also causes even more dryness (and all those skin flakes I saw on my shirt last night). Which necessitates more moisture, and the cycle continues. Yay.
Sometimes this feels like a full-time job.
THEN we move on to the oral meds.
Right now I am trying spironolactone – which although technically a diuretic (extra trips to the potty, double yay!), it also suppresses male hormones in women that can cause acne. It is also usually used as last ditch effort before you bring out the big guns – ACCUTANE.
Yes, ACCUTANE, which causes MAJOR birth defects. Yes, ACCUTANE, that you must provide two clear pregnancy tests before taking the drug. Yes, ACCUTANE, that you must promise to be on two forms of birth control for. Yes, ACCUTANE, that causes depressive symptoms and possible suicidal thoughts.
Although, my doctor says that most of her patients get HAPPY on ACCUTANE because their face FINALLY freaking clears up.
Let’s just hope we don’t have to go there at all.