The Morning Ride

Declan is off school today. Declan is in the office with us today. Declan is in a good mood. Declan is in a very good mood. Declan loves the office. Declan is a chatterbox. Declan is driving us crazy.

It started this morning on the drive to work. Where both Bryan and I were still half asleep. And Mr. Talking At The Speed of Light was in the back seat reading to us from his Wiggles coloring book. You know what is THE single most annoying thing on a long morning commute? Learning about the Wiggles dancing and eating habits. I mean I actually like the Wiggles quite a bit, but when I am fully awake, and certainly not on a dreary Monday morning.

Declan: [From the back seat] Did you know the Wiggles love the Chicken Dance?

Bryan: [Murmuring quietly in the front seat] Of course they do. It’s the stupidest fucking dance ever invented.

Declan: And coooooool! Jeff loves to do the hula dance. And he has all these hula dancers around him!

Aimee: [Also murmuring so only Bryan can hear] That’s because the Wiggles are about to toss them over the side of a volcano in a sacrificial ritual.

Bryan: All the while singing “Big Red Car” and laughing maniacally.

Declan: Now they are all dancing with Dorothy and Henry the Octopus! How many arms does Henry have again? Oh yeah! Eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

Bryan: Remember the episode when Dorothy forgot to take her meds and bit Henry’s head off? That was awesome.

Declan: Now they are all eating skabetty. Skabetty. Sppa… spaaa. Spaghetti. SPAGHETTI. Hey! I can finally say it. SPAGHETTI.

So not only was I tortured by the early morning Wiggles but those fuckers finally taught him to say spaghetti correctly, the one little tongue twister that was so adorable I hoped he would say “skabetty” for the rest of his life.


And oh yeah. Declan is making Darth Colors for every single person in my office right now.

This article has 18 comments

  1. zipper

    The Wiggles make my skin crawl.

  2. mommy2twindaughters

    I introduced my 2 year olds to the wiggles, they didnt care too much for them, I cheered! As far as cute words out of kids, my daughters is Pingles..meaning penguins. SO cute and I dare anyone to try and correct her. Ha.

  3. Sizzle

    Declan is awesome.

  4. Megan


  5. amy

    I think it’s nice that the Jeff Wiggle is teaching children about the hazards of narcolepsy.

    Sorry about the skabetty. So cute. I hate when they learn to say everything correctly. In our house we all still call boots “boops” and say “la” instead of “yes” the way Naomi used to before she got too smart for us.

  6. Gretchen

    I like to play the “Quiet Game” in the car – whomever can stay the quietest the longest wins.

    Really – I’m the winner.

    One, Two, Three… Quiet Game!

  7. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Declan should be too, BUT HE’S NOT!

  8. LemonySarah

    Both of my kids just looked at Darth Pink and simultaneously exclaimed, “AWESOME!”

    I must concur.

  9. mothergoosemouse

    Bryan is right about the chicken dance. Why people play that at weddings I’ll never know.

  10. KD @ A Bit Squirrelly

    I agree with Sizzle. Total Awesomeness.

  11. apathy lounge

    Dear Baby Jebus,

    Thank you so much that my boys are way too old to like the Wiggles.

    Yours Truly,
    Apathy Lounge

  12. Amanda

    I laughed so hard I snorted.

  13. lisaschaos

    That sounds like the most fun in the world. Or not. 🙂 I don’t mind the wiggles but can’t imagine being bombarded continually with them. 🙂

  14. Builder Mama

    Hate. The. Wiggles.
    Honestly, I’m so thankful we’re way out of the Wiggles phase. Still in the “obsessive talker” stage, but much improved without addition of “Hot Potato” and various other Wiggles hits.

  15. fruitlady

    Yet another reason why I stopped at 2 children but you were obviously way ahead of me on this and stopped at one.

  16. MB

    i didn’t really mind the wiggles. or even barney. at least they were NICE. some of these new-fangled cartoons are so evil (but funny). do i sound old or what?

    bug just started saying our dog’s name correctly. she can finally say “Cagg-a-ney” instead of “Candy.” I was kind of hoping she’d stick with Candy.

  17. Jems

    Spaghetti – I too lamented the day when my lot learn it wasn’t actually pronounced basketty. Sad, sad times.

  18. Rhiannon

    I used to *LOVE* going to the office with my dad (and my Grandpa, as they worked together). I remember once someone giving me TONS of spare change. Probably to pay me to get out of their office.

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