I was handling drop of yesterday, and as we walked up to the playground (seeing as we made it there in time to play for once in our lives), I said to Declan, “Do you want to play with Lulu on the monkeybars?”
To which Declan responded, “No whores on bars.”
I just stood there for a minute as the whole playground twirled around me in slow motion, kids turning into a blur of color and light.
Did my child just call his little friend Lulu a WHORE?
“Um, Dex, what did you just say?”
“Mama, no WHORES on BARS!”[insert maybe a slight overreaction on my part here]
I sat down with him on the playground and said, “Look honey, can you explain what you are trying to say? Because the word whores is actually an adult word and I am pretty sure you don’t mean to say that.”[sniff, sniff – starting to panic] “MAMA. NO WHORES ON BARS.”
As they say, retrospect is 20/20 and all that (or in my case 20/15 because I like kick-ass vision and all), but what I finally got out of him is that the gym teacher calls the monkey bars HORIZONTAL BARS and that the Kindergarteners are not allowed to play on them yet because not all the kids can do them, and basically she spends the whole class cleaning up busted knees when they do.
Yup. Lesson learned. I should have just said “uh huh, whatever” and herded him off to some other activity… I’ll just roll with it next time.
But at least we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Lulu is definitely *not* a whore.