Changing of The Guard

Sometimes I go over blog posts in my head and wonder how self-important I sound. I assume what I’m thinking about right now will come out as very narcissistic and passive aggressive.

Do you ever go through cycles where it feels like a group of people in your life are all leaving at the same time?
I’m old enough where this is has happened several times and parts of it hurt and parts of it, honestly, can be a relief. This time, mostly it hurts because it just feels like losing touch (for whatever reason) rather than a healthy changing of the guard.
Perhaps it’s partly a change in the way the world works as well. Where text is becoming like email in that sometimes you just don’t get replies anymore. Or people you know in real life, people who have been to your house, will unfollow you on Twitter with no explanation why.
This post is a jumble of thoughts that probably came out of the holiday blues, because even though we had a nice holiday – everyone gets the holiday blues. Especially when you have a sleep disorder that affects you the worst in winter. Not to mention the early menopause that is making me heated in ways that have nothing to do with my internal temperature.
Still, sometimes it feels like some of my friendships, while we’re still holding hands, it’s very superficial fingertips to fingertips, a lightly touching embrace –  rather than the big bear hug I’m used to.
Maybe this is part of being friends among social networks. Maybe this is what they mean when they say you can only maintain 100 friends at a time. Maybe there is a point of collapse at some point, back to that smaller group that can actually be maintained.
It still makes me sad.

Frozen Ice Grass

This article has 17 comments

  1. janie

    I know exactly what you mean.

  2. william

    This is like every year for me. Sucks but it is healthy.

  3. carrie

    My Christmas card list gets smaller and smaller each year so I know exactly what you mean.

  4. Queen

    Totally get what you mean. I applaud you for having the guts to write about it knowing it could be read by one of those people…who just might be disappointing you. I’m going through it as well…maybe one of these days I’ll make a post. For now, I’m just trying to deal with it.

  5. Aimee Giese

    Great points all – and hugs back! xo

  6. EatPlayLove

    I completely understand. I also have a much lower tolerance for bs now that I am older and wiser and that plays a huge part into who remains constant in my life.

  7. Serafin

    Often identify with this Aimee. Its way easier to be friendly than friends. Not that its always a negative thing but I have to make some true time to be there to support and communicate with special people.

  8. Chloebear

    Yes relationships are hard & sometimes it is not worth the effort to cultivate relationships. I have a very small circle of friends & that’s it, the others require too much work. Though it dies make me sad.

  9. Leslie Henson

    I feel you woman!

  10. Kelly

    I totally get this. I find it happens when I go through a big life change and unfortunately sometimes despite our best efforts it’s not just meant to be. It only works if both parties work to nurture the friendship.

  11. Tree

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. Tree

    I think what Serafin said – that is it is easier to be friendly than friends – is quite true.

    Friendships morph in so many ways, good and bad.

    Sorry you are feeling blue. I think the post-holiday letdown and lack of sun is making me sad, personally.

  13. Naomi Shapiro

    Wichita is the only place I’ve lived where the impermanence is so visible. I’m still in touch with most friends I’ve made elsewhere but it’s harder to make lasting friends here. Maybe a midwest thing? Not sure.

  14. tawnya

    This. 1000 times this.

  15. Alexis Marlons

    I exactly feel your sentiments. Some things are probably just not meant to be.

  16. monstergirlee

    I realize I’m like a month late posting a comment but that’s how it is sometimes.
    Your post really hit home as my husband and I are on our third set of friends since we’ve been hanging out. We still see some of the old ones, but right now our neighbors are kicking ass on others.
    be that as it may. Yeah, sometimes I feel like the kid left standing on the playground after everyone else goes home. Kind of sucks.
    Hugs to you friend – and an XOXO too.

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