Get CLEARed for Father’s Day

I kinda drive Bryan crazy with this thing I do. Well, many things, really, but this one thing I do when waiting in lines.

I sway.

But not just leisurely back and forth like I’m mindlessly dreaming of piña coladas on the beach… I sway with determination. Feet planted apart, hip jerk, hip jerk… back and forth like Julia Child beating some eggs into submission. Not that I would now about that really, since I don’t ever cook. Maybe it’s more like Erkel trying to dance. But FIERCE. Either way, I think I usually look like I am about to kill someone.

Point being, I don’t like waiting in lines.

Especially annoying lines.

Like those at the airport.

I mean no disrespect to our fellow man, but … (because, of course, when someone starts a sentence like that, loads of disrespect to follow) … you people are lousy travelers.

WHY are you chatting it up with the TSA officers checking your boarding pass? WHY are you not ready to move when the line moves? WHY do you get in the “expert traveler” line with your four kids? WHY do you not know about the liquids rules by now? WHY are you on your cell phone when you should be paying attention? WHY do you keep trying to get your fingernail clippers on the plane? WHY do you not take your belt off while waiting in line for 20 minutes? WHY do you wear shoes with intricate laces to the airport?

The shoes, people. THE SHOES!!!


I know most people don’t fly as often as I do, but how many of the gajillion people in the airport have NEVER flown? I would maybe give that ONE PERSON A DAY who is a newbie to the airport some slack, but the rest of you?


It makes me stare longingly at the CLEAR line every single time I fly. You know, the line where you are pre-screened and you zoom past all the people I mentioned above? (Because I know none of YOU are those people I mentioned above.)

So, when CLEAR told me about their Father’s Day promotion, I was excited to check it out, and share it with you.

In honor of Father’s Day, CLEAR is launching their Share Your Story tab on Facebook. Now through Father’s Day, you can share personal travel stories and adventures and get a free family plan upgrade where you can bring your family or partner with you through the CLEAR lane!

Hopefully *I* won’t be the one you discuss there. That annoyingly crazy lady behind you in line who won’t stop swaying in the oddly fanatical way.

P.S. If you are flying out of Denver or Orlando on Sunday, the CLEAR lanes will be giving away free ties. CUTE!

This article has 10 comments

  1. Anthony from CharismaticKid

    I feel the same way about NYC tourists! Always getting in my way!

  2. Megan

    Argh! The belt! How can people forget the belt EVERY TIME!!!!!

  3. zipper

    yes yes yes. Ha!

  4. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Sam, that’s an interesting point. I need to think through that a bit more. But one thing I do think is that there obviously has to be cost involved with doing the research to pre-screen someone’s background, kwim?

    And it’s probably more than the cost of those extra 4 inches and glass of champagne you get in 1st class vs. the cost of 1st class. 😉

    But I do definitely see your point!

    I am sure CLEAR has heard that argument before, will have ask them about that.

  5. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    TOTALLY noticed that.

  6. Sam

    Ok, I’m weird because I don’t like Clear. I guess because it is another stratification of society – if you have money, you can pay to bypass the proletarian rabble.

    But that’s just me. 🙂

    I’m not sure why Clear bothers me but first class on the plane itself doesn’t. *shrug*

  7. Sam

    Like I said, I’m not sure why the issue of skipping the airport security line feels like the rich drunk driver who gets off because they can afford a lawyer, but it does, kind of.

    Maybe I just wanted to use the word “proletarian” correctly for the first time. 😉

  8. Kelly

    HA! Thank you for the laugh! 🙂 I totally agree! the SHOES people!!

  9. keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia

    haha!! so true!!

    i flew for the first time in 5 years a month or so ago, but i was totally prepared. i researched exactly what i needed to do, and i flew through everything – even with pumped breastmilk!! so yes, it’s entirely possible for “newbies” to go through just as fast as the seasoned travelers. EVEN WITH PUMPED BREASTMILK!! 🙂

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