I kinda drive Bryan crazy with this thing I do. Well, many things, really, but this one thing I do when waiting in lines.
But not just leisurely back and forth like I’m mindlessly dreaming of piña coladas on the beach… I sway with determination. Feet planted apart, hip jerk, hip jerk… back and forth like Julia Child beating some eggs into submission. Not that I would now about that really, since I don’t ever cook. Maybe it’s more like Erkel trying to dance. But FIERCE. Either way, I think I usually look like I am about to kill someone.
Point being, I don’t like waiting in lines.
Especially annoying lines.
Like those at the airport.
I mean no disrespect to our fellow man, but … (because, of course, when someone starts a sentence like that, loads of disrespect to follow) … you people are lousy travelers.
WHY are you chatting it up with the TSA officers checking your boarding pass? WHY are you not ready to move when the line moves? WHY do you get in the “expert traveler” line with your four kids? WHY do you not know about the liquids rules by now? WHY are you on your cell phone when you should be paying attention? WHY do you keep trying to get your fingernail clippers on the plane? WHY do you not take your belt off while waiting in line for 20 minutes? WHY do you wear shoes with intricate laces to the airport?
The shoes, people. THE SHOES!!!
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
I know most people don’t fly as often as I do, but how many of the gajillion people in the airport have NEVER flown? I would maybe give that ONE PERSON A DAY who is a newbie to the airport some slack, but the rest of you?
I repeat, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
It makes me stare longingly at the CLEAR line every single time I fly. You know, the line where you are pre-screened and you zoom past all the people I mentioned above? (Because I know none of YOU are those people I mentioned above.)
So, when CLEAR told me about their Father’s Day promotion, I was excited to check it out, and share it with you.
In honor of Father’s Day, CLEAR is launching their Share Your Story tab on Facebook. Now through Father’s Day, you can share personal travel stories and adventures and get a free family plan upgrade where you can bring your family or partner with you through the CLEAR lane!
Hopefully *I* won’t be the one you discuss there. That annoyingly crazy lady behind you in line who won’t stop swaying in the oddly fanatical way.
P.S. If you are flying out of Denver or Orlando on Sunday, the CLEAR lanes will be giving away free ties. CUTE!