I’m 5-10% gay.

A few people have asked me about the comment I made in my Austin recap about being partially gay. It came from a conversation over a few drinks, chatting about shoes and a man at the table half-flippantly commented that his love for footwear proved he was at least 30% gay. I jumped on that one, because I have always had this theory. A theory that was further shored up by the movie about Alfred Kinsey.

That humans have shades of homo and hetero sexuality. Most people at the table agreed with me.

And the conversation continued on a light-hearted bent, where one of the ladies stated she was 0% gay. I was somewhat incredulous and pushed her further on it. Her next comment, said with (I promise) zero traces of homophobia, made me laugh: “Sure, I’ll see an attractive woman, and think she is pretty, but it doesn’t mean I want to tap that!”

She had a point because certainly people can be 100% hetero as much as 100% gay, as much as all the shades in between. But mainly I CANNOT BELIEVE I lost an opportunity to quote from the movie Boomerang, seeing as Eddie Murphy utters almost those exact words about Billy Dee Williams. (Seriously, Bryan and I use that movie as a form of communication on a daily basis and I am beginning to think my name is “Gerrrrard!”)

But here’s the thing. As an art major and a liberal, I know tons of gay folk. And let’s be honest. Some are more gay than others. Certainly all have been born the way they were, but haven’t you met that lady who used to be in a relationship with a man, and was troubled with her sexuality and came into a relationship with a woman kinda dragging her feet? Makes me think she was, like, 75% gay.

Or that person who is so homophobic they need to lash out against gay people and try to prove how “evil” their lifestyles are? Could they be 30% gay and afraid to face up to a part of themselves they cannot accept?

In my case, I look at someone like Angelina Jolie and think she is hot and kinda wish I was a little more at ease with my sexuality at a time when I was free to play around. But as it happens, I met my soulmate when I was 22, and he is a man, which is lucky for me, because I really do prefer men.

But would it matter if I was more or less gay? The fact is, it shouldn’t.

The way I see it, each person is made up of so many parts, their sexuality is only one little fraction of the whole, and really doesn’t matter all that much either way. It’s the person as a whole that matters.

Apparently, this legislator in Oklahoma feels differently. (Thanks to Pistachio for the link.)

“I think it is the biggest threat facing our nation, even more so than terrorism.”
I ask you this: When was the last time a gay person dropped a bomb on anyone?

“They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them.”
No, lady, they are trying to teach them to read, write and be decent human beings.

“They are trying to teach them that a homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.”
Well. Compared to spreading crap like this, I should say so.

In fact. I think I’d rather just be 100% gay if “heterosexual” means being associated with bigoted assholes like her.

This article has 54 comments

  1. Rachel

    I think you said that brilliantly.
    That guy, and all of his ilk.. scare the bejeesus out of me.
    This made me grin 😉 You have such a great way with words and storytelling.

  2. Sizzle

    Is it any wonder why I adore you so? I completely agree with the sentiments in this post. I’m pretty sure I’m about 20% gay.

  3. Katja of skimbaco.com

    You said it, I’d rather be gay too than be in the same group with that lady.

    We thought about moving close to my husband’s family last year, and went “back home” and had some of his relatives tell us what a great community they have down there and started telling some anti-gay stories what they had done to “depress those people”. I was in shock.

    I rather explain my kids why our friends of two same sex live together than why uncle such-and-such talks all those horrible things about gays. In his words “we should protect our children” from various types of influences – I agree, and staying away from him is one of them.

  4. zipper


  5. Tree

    Excellent post.

    What is also rather ironic, as someone who now lives in OK, is that Tulsa itself has a large gay population.

    Ignorance in all forms angers me.

  6. Kelly

    As an Okie I hung my head in shame when this story came out. Great post!

  7. joansy

    I’m also a fan of the sliding scale of gayness theory. I put myself in the 20% category, but it’s pretty much just a guess. Actually, I like a 3 dimensional view which includes asexual at one end and hypersexual at the other. I’m probably 30% sexual, 70% asexual.

  8. Don Mills Diva

    I love this post and I couldn’t agree more. Most people have a little gay in ’em and that hateful politician probably secretly has more than most…

  9. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Joansy! I love the sexual to asexual scale. Lately I definitely more to the asexual scale, ha ha!!!

  10. villanovababy

    I totally agree, my husband is aware that I’m about a 2 – 2.5 on the Kinsey scale. I mean, on my list of celebrities I’m allowed to do it with, there are two women. (In case you were wondering… Madonna & Scarlett Johansson) However I learned early on in my 20’s that boys are still tops for me. I plan on teaching my children that all kinds of people are what makes the world go round.

  11. onthecurb

    Ah, I heard this on Ellen a few days ago. She tried to call her, but the woman’s voice mail was full, not surprisingly.

    I’m actually a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. 🙂

  12. AB

    Amen to that! Laughing cause I am one of those 100% hetero females but I love gay men! I would be fine with myself if I did have gay or bi feelings/tendencies but I just don’t. Just the way it is.

    I miss my days in Seattle and the Bay Area, particularly my Starbucks days. The gay guys I worked with and was friends with were some of the funnest friends I have ever had. Didn’t have as many female lesbian friends but some co-workers along the line and most of them were pretty cool (never really got into the militant lesbian ultra feminist views but never really bothered me.)
    So yes, although I personally am 100% hetero, I am also 100% supportive of the gay community.
    There aren’t that many gays (or other minorities for that matter) in Central Oregon though, or if there are, they are pretty quiet about it and keep to themselves. Makes me sad.

  13. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    No kidding Mary Beth. I could use the advice.

  14. Cobwebs

    There’s an excellent response to the Oklahoma legislator here:

  15. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    cobwebs, the link gets a “page not found,” try and post the HTML?

  16. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Cobwebs, that was amazing. Thank you for sharing.

  17. Janet

    hear, hear!

  18. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Awesome Loralee, awesome.

  19. tray

    nicely stated. and i agree. (that being said from one of those 75%-85% gay people 🙂 )

    my favorite part is the line about rather being 100% gay instead of having to be associated with the hetero-homophobes.. and i guess i never really, truly thought of it that way. and you’re so right. i’m definitely more thankful about my gay-ness now 🙂 thanks!

  20. Gretchen

    I totally agree with the sliding scale…

    Unbelievable. Who, exactly, did she think was listening?

  21. jennifer

    Great post, very true. It’s a shame that there are people like that woman and people who believe things like that.

    Me, I’m about 75% gay for certain women, and 5% for others.

  22. Anonymous

    Wonderful post, friend.

  23. Scott Booker

    Awesome post!!!

    And I like tell everyone I meet…I claim to be a lesbian trapped in a mans body!! Honestly…I am!!

  24. Miss Britt

    I was so furious when I saw this video – on the blog of a gay friend.

  25. Ashmystir

    I TOTALLY agree with you Aimee. People are what they are. Live with it. Tell others to kiss off if they can’t accept them the way they are. Just last night…I had my eyebrows waxed at the local hair salon by a GAY man and think he was so cool. There were 3 other gay men there too and they had everyone cracking up. Not laughing AT them BUT enjoying their company. I’m married but find other women attractive at times. I guess I’m 10% gay too. I also have that video on my site too. Got it from TSB.

  26. Sue at eLp

    Totally with you on this Aimee. The shades of sexuality thing made absolute sense to me the first time I heard it … in my, er, liberal arts college days. LOL!

  27. Mary Beth

    That’s not heterosexual – that’s ignorant. I wish I was a gay man trapped in a female’s body – I might dress better;)

  28. Cobwebs

    I think your comments format cuts off long URLs. Here’s the link.

  29. Loralee Choate

    I say on my blog that I’m 23.9% lesbian, so this made me grin.

    One of my relatives is uber conservative and believes that it is a choice to “Be that way” and brought up the issue of gays influencing people’s sexuality.

    I looked at her and asked her to think of a roomful of people she totally respect, got validation from or who had influence over her.

    THEN I asked if there was anything that they could do or say that would possibly make her want to make out with a woman.

    She didn’t have much to say after that.

  30. Builder Mama

    Well said.

    By the way, Boomerang is like my favorite movie EVER.

  31. painted maypole

    great post. we dealt with a lot of that kind of ignorance when we were performing Cootie Shots (great book, check it out…) which dealt with all kinds of discrimination, but everyone focused on the gay stuff!

  32. Kater

    Great post! I can’t believe this idiot just compared gays in the community to cancer of the little toe. This kind of ignorance displayed by someone in a government position just infuriates me!

  33. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Whew!, I have been worried all day what you would think, MB. xoxox

  34. Doodaddy

    She really said “tap that”?

    I don’t think she’s 5% gay, I think she’s 172% male. Way more than me, anyway!

  35. Lara

    oh so true. if i had to estimate, i’d put me at about 20-25% gay. unfortunately, the gayness hasn’t managed to manifest in my relationship with my roommate – we’re practically a married couple already, so if we could just get some sexual attraction going, we’d be set.

  36. June

    Bravo! I’ve always adhered to the “continuum” theory…on just about all things, but especially this. There’s hardly ever only black or white, though black (100)and white (0)are there!

  37. MB

    I love it when ANYONE uses the phrase “tap that.”

    Good job, friend. From your gay, gay, gay friend, well put. There are days when I think that maybe there could possibly be a man out there for me…but I’m not sure that such a creature exists (although I did come close to falling in love with one of the guys at the Mac genius bar). But it’s clear that my WIRING made me gay. When I was younger, I distinctly remember thinking, “how do I keep ending up in bed with women?”

    I’m all about the spectrum and I consider myself to be somewhere in the middle – probably a little more gay-leaning. 🙂

    Loved this post.

  38. Phil

    You rule, Aimee! Very well said. Strictly speaking, I’m a Kinsey 6 (100% gay), as in I’ve not felt any physical attraction toward someone of the opposite sex. But I doubt you’d call me the “gayest” person you’ve met (I’m going to see Margaret Cho on Saturday, so maybe I will be then, but otherwise probably not 😛 ). I’m just me.

    Interestingly, in a recent email discussion with one of my homophobic brothers, I told him that my take on homophobia is not the fear of gay people, but the fear of actually being gay.

    I’m glad you posted the video, too. I saw that a week or so ago on another friend’s blog and am thrilled to see that more are watching it and reacting so positively to such a hateful rhetoric. Thank you.

  39. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    My 5-10% is totally in love with all you ladies too. And the rest is for you men.

  40. sassymoll

    I agree! I’ve long been an adherent of the continuum theory; it just makes sense to me. I had a friend who used to laugh and say her husband and I were two of the only people she would put on the 100% hetero end. But I’m probably closer to 90-95%.

  41. Jenny, the Bloggess

    I totally believe in the gay spectrum and the 25% of my gayness (gayity?) is totally in love with you.

  42. Amy

    My hubby’s bro is gay and I’ve always told my hubby he was way more gay than his gay brother. 😉 One gene short I like to say. 😉 As for me, for Amy Ray I am 100% gay but I’ve never had the opportunity to try to convince her of that. And there was that one episode in college…but other than that it’s always been about the boys for me. Even my kids who have a gay uncle (and uncle partner) have to be reminded not to freak out about the gayness of people. It’s nice to have two people that they both very much love and love them as well to have as reminders that gay people are just normal people and we don’t get all worked up about such nonsense. Great post Aimee.

  43. nutmeg


    Once again you have just rocked me with this post. If that is an example of 100% straight, sign me up for 100% gay. My sister is gay. Many of our closest friends are gay. One of my children might be gay. So, again, I have to steal your post. Because I’m listening and that President and founder of the assholery does not speak for me.

  44. Wenderina


    I plan to continue my life as a heterosexual and explore what percent of gay I am throughout that time without any “tapping”. If I should outlive my hubby, I’m open to whatever, cuz I do LOVE the company of women…and it is a short trip to being a member of the “L Word” gang.

  45. Mary Lynn

    Egads…she’s a legislator?!? I don’t understand people like that, though I suppose I’m just as glad I don’t.

    Anyway, I’d put myself in the 10% bracket, too.

  46. Anonymous

    fuckin’ a!!!

  47. missy wiggins

    i read this a couple of days ago on another news site and said, “geez she must be gay and just afraid of admitting it.”

    honestly i can’t figure out why gay issues are political issues in the first place? can we please worry about something that matters???

  48. missy wiggins

    and to add to my previous response…

    i am about 15.5778856% gay!

  49. Laurence

    Thank you for speaking out against that woman.

  50. Bryan

    So if I was 95% lesbian, living in a man’s body, leaving a train station in New York at 3pm going 85 mph, and Aim leaves Chicago at 2pm in a car going 60 mph, when exactly would we tap dat?

    I’m not sure, but I love Aim, and her blog posse is damn cool too.


    PS. Can I say blog posse? Net posse? Who’s posse are we talking about here? It’s fun to type posse. Posse posse posse.

  51. Anonymous

    amazing post. thanks for writing it.

  52. Jenn

    Found this post through a friend and Loved.It.
    The current standard is 10%, as in the population is “about” 10% gay. This assumes the other 90% are straight. Let’s change it to:
    10%=100% gay
    10%=100% straight
    80%=somewhere in the middle
    And then maybe we can all get along better. 🙂
    Cheers to Aimee,
    a 90% gay girl

  53. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Jenn, what a nice thing to say 🙂 – and welcome!

  54. Torrie

    Did I write this?
    Yet again, you have hit the nail on the head.

    (Hee hee. I said “head”)

Comments are now closed.
Send this to a friend