It’s a weird thing, getting older. At first, mainly you just can’t believe it. Where did that come from? I feel exactly the same as I did ten years ago! Well, except my kid was unable to feed himself then and now he pretty much could move out and have his own apartment, but whatever.

I recognize that, in a lot of ways, I am lucky… because I do look younger than my age of 43.

I also recognize that I’m starting to get obnoxious about it. The other night, when I was out at a concert, my age came up in conversation; a very young and beautiful lady couldn’t believe it. When you’re 43 and a very young and beautiful lady says something like, “you look younger than me!” … you pretty much start doing a happy dance right there and suppress the urge to tongue kiss her with joy.

It’s even more weird when you look kinda young and shit gets real. I’m pretty sure I’m starting menopause. Either that or I’ve had a low-level virus for about a month. A low-level virus that makes your hair fall out and gives you hot flashes. Still kind of holding out for the virus, but like I said, I’m pretty sure I am starting menopause.

So when you are young-looking 43-year-old who goes to concerts with 20-somethings, imagine the anxiety threat level that losing your hair brings. Not that this wouldn’t be a anxiety-causing event for any woman for any reason… it just feels like the biggest part of getting older thus far.

I’ve always struggled with my weight (let’s not go there right now) and I continue to struggle with my skin. One of the reasons why my face looks so young is because I’ve basically had it completely scraped down to the bone multiple times by my dermatologist to get rid of acne.

But my hair? While fairly thin, there’s always been lots of it. Lots and lots and lots of it. Like so much they always had to thin it out to make it do anything fashionable. Never had to really worry about it. It’s looked decent unless I had a bad haircut. Or a bad hair day. But staring into that hairline and seeing way less way is way more scary than crows stamping their feet in the edges of my eyes. I’m starting to understand why so many women my age pay so much money to hold on to youth.

It seems like it’s too early.

I’m just as shocked as that very young and beautiful lady I met in the bar the other night.

Next menopause post: THE RAGE.

This article has 10 comments

  1. Amanda

    I don’t think we talk about these things much, which is why they’re so surprising. It starts when? I find myself fretting over the strange 40 year old acne on my neck, kind of around my ears, then I remember where they were at 14, right in front of my ears.

    It’s all so strange, but I’ll tell you the way you regale us with concert stories keeps me smiling and believing that age ain’t nothing but a number—and little physical things we just won’t talk about 😉

  2. Sue at nobaddays

    We should compare symptoms … blech!

  3. Aimee Giese

    “Extreme intolerance” ha ha!!!

  4. zipper

    Good luck Aimee!

  5. Kim Moldofsky

    I’m right there with you.

    Have you also talked to your doctor about having your thyroid checked. There’s a basic test and another having to due with antibodies related to the thyroid that’s beyond the basic test. Thyroid issues are also common in women our age and some of the signs are similar to menopause. It’s something I hear other women talking about, you know, now that we’re old and spend a lot of time talking about our health. (How did that happen?!)

    Let me know when you get to that rage post….

  6. April Welch

    Oh sweetie … I was informed by my Dr 1 month before my 40th birthday that the results of my blood test did not reveal a virus, but I had been in the early stages of menopause for approximately 3 years.

    Yes, 3 freaking years!!!

    The night sweats, the hot flashes, the hair loss … and now the {extreme} intolerance for things that used to just “get under my skin”.

    I actually chased down a local kid {and bitched him out} a few weeks ago for passing me on a 35 mph 2 lane road because he had a younger cousin in the front seat & it wasn’t safe to pass!!!

    Oy … who is this woman in the mirror looking back at me?

    Hang in there


  7. Stephanie Quilao

    I am so glad you are talking about this. Aging is so dreaded in our culture. I admittedly have some angst about it but I’m letting go of those old beliefs and preconceptions of what getting older means.

    I haven’t experienced any symptoms yet but given my age I gotta believe I’ve been going through the change. 50 is much closer to the horizon. My biggest thing about getting older thus far is that I now have presbyopia and gotta wear reading glasses. They are the lowest level power but dang if it doesn’t make start to feel the aging process every time I squint and struggle to read a menu or check email on my iPhone.

  8. Anonymous

    First of all I think your beautiful & your eyes blow me over:). Funny you should mention hit flashes because I have had a few in the last month & I was convinced I was menopausing! Maybe there IS something going around (hopefully) or maybe just stress. I am in your boat girlfriend. We make it through:)

  9. MargieK

    The trouble with menopause is that we all experience it in (perhaps slightly) different ways, and at wildly different times.

    I didn’t know what to expect because
    a) I was married and living ~2500 miles from my mom when she experienced it (so no memory of living with someone going through it), and
    b) She had had fertility problems, and didn’t experience many, if any, symptoms, so all she could tell me was that it was not a problem for her.

    But how nice it would be if we could be told ahead of time the exact age of onset, duration, symptoms and treatments. The range of “normal” is so wide and varied.

    Overall, my symptoms were pretty mild, and I managed to get to the other side without resorting to hormonal or herbal treatments. I hope despite this ends up being the same for you. I had some hot flashes (but only a few per day, not a few per hour like one of my friends). My hair has thinned gradually (not suddenly in clumps), and like you, it’s still plenty thick.

    I’m 55 and also feel like I look younger than my years, but have gone through the reading glasses thing (need them when I’m wearing conatcts), now take blood pressure meds, and just had my second total hip replacement surgery (ME? Aren’t I way too young for this? Thank-you arthritic genetics — NOT!).

    Eating cleanly, getting adequate sleep (and keeping a reasonably consistent sleep schedule), and exercise always helps you look and feel younger.

  10. Alexis Marlons

    I think the anxiety that you are feeling is normal at that age and stage of your live and we will all go through that. We just have to prepare ourselves physically and emotionally.

Comments are now closed.
Send this to a friend