Sam the (Non)Wiggle

I know I have talked about James from work several times (most recently with his hotel reservation woes), but here’s the thing. When you get to know people at work, you get to know their family. Enter Sam. James’ cousin. Who is hilarious and fun to hang out with (especially when you are waiting 6 hours to buy an iPhone) and is almost young enough to be my son. And if you do the calculations, that puts him in college, and he’s doing a semester abroad in Australia, so we friended each other on Facebook, just so I could keep tabs on him we could keep in touch and stuff… (Thanks for the message letting me know you are not dying from red dust inhalation, Sam! Whew!).

The best part? I have a policy against being friends with people from work on Facebook. But COUSINS of co-workers don’t count. Ha ha James! SUCKER!

Right before Sam left for Australia, we had a goodbye lunch, where Bryan and I sat him down and told him about a very important topic. The Birds and The Bees. Noooo! Not that! THE WIGGLES, DUDES!

Sam had never heard of the wonderment of the Wiggles.

Sheesh. Kids these days.

We talked about how Greg got sick, how Sam (another one) took over, how pissed Bryan was that he didn’t get a chance to try out to be the green American Wiggle, how Declan – at age 7 – still watches the show – like. every. day. And then we finished up lunch with a rousing performance of “Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy.”

Sam loved it.

So much so, that – within a month of being in Australia – I received the email below.


From: Sam
To: Aimee, Bryan and especially Declan
Subject: Australian Made…American Approved

Look what I got!


Stupid piece of shit!

Probably overkill?

Calling in back up.

No idea why he looks so perplexed.

Piece of cake. I also have him open my Jam jars.

More f*%#ing packaging.

I’m sick of coming up with captions.


Fun with the Wiggles just became more fattening!


And here were the reactions from the crowd:

Aimee: “I am totally going to post this on my blog!”

“What does ‘piece of shit’ mean?”

Bryan: “If he tries out to be the Green American Wiggle, I will fucking kill him.”

This article has 16 comments

  1. zipper

    ha ha – that’s great!

  2. Megan

    Oh my god – that was HILARIOUS!

  3. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    That’s called COLLEGE. 😉

  4. angie

    My kids love the Wiggles! I miss Greg too!

  5. chloebear

    OMG! Love this!!People around me are looking at me funny…cause I’m LMAO!!

  6. Anonymous

    that is the funniest thing ever!!! – m

  7. gonzomama

    too funny – but why does it look like he’s in prison?

  8. Tree

    This is absolutely hysterical.

  9. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    I think he looks like Jason Mraz. And he is a singer too. Oh hai Sam!

  10. NaysWay

    I love this. I am DYING over here.

  11. Ashleigh

    He reminds me of Dermot Mulroney.

    Or is that just me being weird?


  12. keli.h


    piece of shit.

  13. Urban Utopia Photography

    He’s adorable. 🙂 And sweet to send that to Declan, even if you did have to explain what Piece of Shit was. 🙂 lol

    also…I swear I had to look close to make sure you were sure he was Sam from College and not that hot guy from Coyote Ugly (the boyfriend…)hmmm…


  14. Urban Utopia Photography

    and oooppppsss….commented when signed in under my company blog (urban utopia photography) and not buttercupyaya…sorry!

  15. Bryan

    I think using a knife like that will keep him from qualifying to be a Wiggle anyway.


    That is a funny post.

    Green american wiggle…does that mean someoneis jealous?

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