The potty humor never fails!

Remember how regimented Declan’s bedtime routine is? A year and a half later, it is still almost EXACTLY THE SAME. Except he got all his numbers down up till about 50 or so, and we got bored. Not with everything else in this monotonous, scripted, playacting we do every night, mind you!!! Just the numbers part.

So we moved on to colors.

And now we do either German or Spanish colors every night.

Red is rojo. Blue azul. Green verde.

Red is rot. Blue blau. Green gruen.

Guess what black is in German? Schwarz.

Pronounced: Sh-farts.

It’s very hard to settle down a 5.5 year old boy every night when we get to “black” in German.

This article has 20 comments

  1. FabGirl

    HA! Will have to add that to my husband’s German word repertoire, which includes a whole lotta made up crap, I’m sure.

  2. Lotta

    Most impressed with your bedtime routine!

  3. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Amy, I used to be in both Spanish and German, but I have lost so so so much. Now it’s just a garbled mess.

  4. stream of nothing

    i know he’s a genius……..but boys will be boys when it comes to the toilet and humour. Your blog is fab. Got the address from Harlan at soveryalone, his story is just brilliant, if that’s what it is. Keep up the good work.

  5. Sizzle

    I can see how that word would get in the way of sleeping. Tee hee!

  6. Ali

    oh yes. my grandparents only spoke a broken english/yiddish/german…and my sister and i always died when they said that!!!

  7. Laurence

    what a nut!!

  8. Amy

    Ah, you’re such a good mama. So are you a fluent german speaker?

  9. gretchen from lifenut

    I took German in high school. As you know, “to drive” in German is “fahrt”—pronounced “fart” of course.

    Nobody would say it, so one day our teacher made everyone shout “FART” at the top of our lungs, in unison, over and over again.

    Then there’s the German word for “six”.

  10. Sue at eLuckypacket

    Funny! We went to play mini-golf the other day and Tau had a green stick and a yellow ball. He can’t say initial S’s yet … you know where this is going, right? Yes, he goes around telling everyone how he had a “green dick and a lellow ball.” Nice.

  11. painted maypole

    well golly, that would make me giggle, too!

  12. Ashmystir

    Oh that is funny!

    He’s your average little boy. My hubby still finds humor (if you can call it that) in that mess at 40 years old. Little boys never really grow up. They just get bigger. hee-hee.


  13. J at

    Very funny. 🙂 I kinda miss those rote routines of younger childhood, now that I have a tween. Then again, I enjoy the freedom of now. So I’m easily pleased. 😉

  14. carrie

    My boys would not be able to contain themselves!

  15. Anonymous


  16. blogapotamus

    If you want to finish him off, you could take him on a German motorway; the word for “exit” is “ausfart”. My brother in law thought it was the biggest city EVER. “Geez, there are a lot of exits for THAT place.” he said.

    Learning to laugh at fart humor is an essential part of a fun person.

  17. Momo Fali

    Ha! That’s great! Thanks for the trip back to German 101. We even laughed about that in college!

  18. Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus)

    Haha, that’s really cute. My mother is Swiss, so I was fluent in Swiss-German as a child, and we actually pronounced it with a much more “V” leaning tongue. “Sh-varts”

    But potty-mouth was rampant in our house anyway, so we were never really that far away from the next “Scheiskopf” anyway. 😉

  19. MB

    I’m the rare MOM who loves potty humor. So my daughter thinks it’s funny, too. Have I created a monster?

  20. womaninawindow

    Sch-farts. he he he…farts…ummm…donuts…

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