Meet the Simpsons

When I shave my legs, I always seem to miss this little tuft of hair on both knees. ALWAYS. I go back and re-scrape my knees every time, in multiple directions…but after the shower, I take a peek and THEY ARE STILL THERE. Luckily the hair on my legs is fine and blond, so they are not really noticeable to anyone but me.

But I know they are there.

So, I have named them Jessica and Ashlee.

And on fine Spring days, like today, when I am wearing a skirt with no hose, and I am sitting in interminably long meetings, I make Jessica and Ashlee have conversations.

“Can you believe she missed us *again* today?”

“Ah know! She is a complete idiot! Does she *not* know how to use a razor, or what?!”

“And, ah mah gawd, what are these people talking about anyway?”

“I. have. no. idea. I will call John and have him explain it to me.”

Any suggestions on getting rid of them would be most appreciated.

This article has 11 comments

  1. nutmeg

    I miss the same damn spots. As I was reading, my brain said ‘the knees’ before I even got to it. I have no advice and wouldn’t want to deprive you of the entertainment anyway. I’m heading out to a long meeting very soon – but first I’m changing into a skirt.

    (Just be glad Jessica and Ashley aren’t on your chin!)

  2. Tanaya

    Can’t help you. My “girls” get missed on a regular basis as well. I also usually miss a pretty wide swath down the back of my right calf too…

  3. Tree

    Mine, thrice! I also have a little area near my ankles / achilles that tends to be missed on a regular basis. And I have very dark hair.

  4. monstergirlee

    Pluck them? use hair remover cream in that one spot? I too have trouble with my knees.

  5. nobaddays

    The knee thing too. But (cringe) I admit to two stray hairs under my chin. I hack those girls off the second I see them. One is a bit coarser and more persistent than the other. Think I’ll call them Joan and Melissa (Rivers).

  6. ali

    i love that you named ’em Ashlee and Jessica. quite fitting monikers for pesky little buggers that won’t go away…no matter how much you try.

  7. aimee / greeblemonkey

    Ali, my thoughts exactly.

    And Sue… what I name the things on my chin are the topic of another post entirely. :)))

  8. monstergirlee

    I have a hair that grows out of the mole on my upper lip, her name is Karen.

  9. Anonymous

    THAT is hilarious.

  10. Mrs. Wheezer

    Too, too funny. I have the knee problem and the mole on my chin problem…

  11. samantha Jo Campen

    You are a freak.


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